"Detik Terakhir"

When i was in medan i bought a few indonesian DVDs and several complete season of popular series. Yeah its cheaper there. One of the movies was the one above. The synopsis of the back of the cover caught my attention. A tragic love story of problematic brat who suddenly indulged herself into drugs and lesbianism. Lesbian?? yeah..you heard it.

I've been keeping the cd for some time. Planned to watch with lisa. Imagine i haven't seen her for more than a week! Thats a long time as we always have our routine catchups averagely after a day. Yesterday she picked me up from the office and planned to stay over at my place to watch the dvd together.

I'm not here to review and reveal too much on the story.. but my expectation on the movie was too high. I was hoping more.. erm.. lesbian in action! ahahhaha.. well, if you wanna make a lesbian movie, do it like one! To me, they look more like bestfriends.. Why? because girls can hug and cuddle each other in public without giving a wrong sign unlike males. So, give us more than hugging and holding hands.. (don't get me wrong people, i wasn't expecting it to be like a lesbian porns.. but.. i guess the director should do more study and research on lesbian lovers) But this movie has a good message to send. A good catch on the drug addict and the effects of it. My teen nieces are interested in watching it.. but i'm not sure whether its the right genre for them.

Some of the movie shots.. that tattoo on her left thigh looks hot!

tired.hungry.

Just came back from a swim.. tired, hungry and i'm going to have capati kat usj. Friends were mentioning about the yummy tandoori. Guess i should try it tonite. In a mean time... enjoy the clip...

A guy who made my day.. (the sequel)

Note: This is the sequel of my blog dated 27th September 2005 titled "A guy who made my day.."


I know i need to blog about this. I need to let this out before i start my day. An incident that made me smile the whole day sometime last year.. (refer blog) without any future expectations of bumping into him again, it finally happened again today. The same train stop, about the same hour, but different door for the sweet second time i bumped into the guy that made me smile again.. And the same type of adrenaline rush i used to feel a year ago rushing my vein again. No, this is no mistake.. he was the one. I still remember those shady eyes, the calm look on his face.. and that stare!! I tried to pretend not looking and give that no biggy expression..(i think that is my credit.. i think i did well) but god knows how i feel inside. I can feel the blood rushing up to my brain passing by my vein and definitely left a tint of blush on my cheek! Caught him glancing TWICE.. oh my god.. did i say.. TWICE? does my hair look ok? does my top match my skirt? does the color suit my skin? maybe he still remember this girl who used to glue her eyes on him stingily for few silent moment a year ago.. maybe he's just curious why is this stranger blushing.. maybe he doesn't care or maybe he loves to watch people. Argh! what ever reason he has, who cares.. that glance meant a lot to me.. I wished the train stucked, the door jammed or i wished i don't have to get down at sentral station.. that one stop felt like a split second.. a guy with shady eyes, will you punish me if i become your sweet stalker? Do i have to wait for another a year to bump into you again?

I've been watched...

I'm a bit laid-back today. I have ample time to blog but i don't feel like blogging about my medan trip now. Maybe i am a lil bit frustrated because this trip was not really going my way.

I had lunch with Miss Z. Didn't know what to eat but suddenly i have the crave for KFC. Tried the new KFC chicken chop, but it was not that good. The only seasonal or KFC new item that suits y appetite is KFC chicken bandito and cheezy wedges. Well, anyway.. for a starved woman, anything goes! I queued at the counter and bumped into my colleague.. being a very "concern kakak", she asked me with whom i am having lunch with.. "who's that guy?". She asked with a cynical smile.. ahahaha.. ni nak serkap jarang aku la ni.. ahahhaha. its hard being single in a company full of married women. Being "Extra concern" over the singlehood in the company. I gave her a cynical reply.. "I'm having lunch with a guy named Miss Z.." she smiled and walked away. I sighed in relief.

It was raining cats and dogs. We rushed back straight to the office. As i sat down my cubicle, the same kakak stopped by and continued the same conversation. Kept asking me about the guy she saw having lunch with me last week. Ahahahha.. i know its going to cause a lot of controvertial issues! Argh. who careslah.. i didn't do anything wrong.. we had lunch and friends do that right? She kept talking and giving me advices about marriage and stuffs. It was funny. I don't mind nor get offended by her.. its good to see the curiosity of not knowing the real situation and jump into conclusion look. I smiled.. smiled cynically.. but i took all her advice with an open heart.

Tired.

Hey bloggers.. It's been sometime since i last updated anything crappy here.. yeah.. besides those crappy photos! There's too much to write yet so little time. Just came back for MEDAN last night. Still tired.. jet lag!! (hehehe.. ngada tak??) Will blog more about it later. Banyak keje.. ish! tensionnye!!

pleut des cordes..

All I hear is rain drops,
Falling on the rooftops,
I love the smell of rain,
It washes away my pain..

When the blue sky turns grey,
And I will begin to pray,
Hoping the drop of pearl,
Shall enlighten my world..

Sungai Gabai Retreat..

A one hour drive to Hulu Langat district was worth a journey. We left the house early morning purposely to get a good spot for our tent. A 20 minutes of jungle trekking to get to the waterfall made me lose my breath. It has proper stairs to climb up, but its a bit steep. I guess i'm losing up my stamina. It was supposed to be easy for me. I was catching my breath up there but the moment we reached i totally forget that i struggled carrying up our tent and food.Well, it was okay. It was still a beautiful waterfall indeed. The view was nice.. a good spot to splash and enjoy the fall of water massaging your back. But people say it was even beautiful 10-15 years ago. I bet it was still a virgin back then.

We pitched our tent and i started my mission on playing with my black box.. this time, its gonna be a shutter priority. I was not fully satisfied with the whole result of my picture. The lighting was a bit poor as the area was shaded by trees. I'm practising and will definitely come again to practise more.

But one thing for sure.. we had so much fun even though i get few bruises and wounds due to the slippery ground. Yup, i fell couple of times. But i was just lucky that my camera didn't fall onto the ground. Enjoy the pics!

Things i'm obsessed with..

Things i'm obsessed with :


1) it was one of my healthy mistake i did. Went in to one japanese kiosk in subang.. Being obsessed over mushrooms and potato, i felt like trying this crispy mushroom chip.. And it got me addicted to it.. been buying it everyday.. and i can't stop eating it! (atleast its a healthy junk food)



















2) I got infected by a camera bug. Simply snap anything within the reach of my lense. Planning to get a better lense and flash really soon.








3) Indonesian songs especially :

• Tak Bisakah - Peterpan
• Bintang di Surga - Peterpan
• Kupu-Kupu Malam - Peterpan
• Setengah Hati - Ada Band
• list goes on......

4) Cats.. home cat, tabby cat, persians.. any cats! Even though i don't own one due to circumstances.. but i have passions for felines.. meow...









































5) Starbucks KLCC - a mocha frappuccino just for me!














6) "Motivational" Books. I'ma get this book really soon. Don't be deceived by its title. Read it and it is sooo true. Gals.. you should give it a go! I was nodding and smiling when i flip through few principals.. Maybe i've been too nice that left me into frustations..Guys nowadays should be treated different way... ahah!

"It takes a very confident man to like a very confident woman, and sometimes that is misinterpreted as being a bitch. And I am called one quite frequently..."

“A bitch the way I like to define it is a ‘Babe in Total Control of herself.’ It makes perfect sense to me that a guy would like that.”

My boring seminar and the towers

I was on Microsoft seminar last week and it was held at the PETRONAS Twin Tower, Kuala Lumpur. I used to work on the 62nd floor out of 88 storeys in total. Its kinda creepy at first and i had problem in equalizing the pressure at first. And being on the 62nd floor gave me a freight as i can feel myself swaying when the wind is strong. The architecture of the building makes it that way as the foundation of the tower was made not rigid to allow stability. I had ample chance to shoot nice photos back then but i was not into photography that much in 2002. (in fact i didn't have good camera as well)

Now, i am no longer working in twin tower but i'd really love the chance to shoot the view from inside the tower. Since the training was held there, i took the chance but the result was not up to my satisfaction. The security system is very strict now and i was only allowed to go up to 29th floor. Bummer! These are the shots i managed to get from my classroom and some nite shots. The twin tower looks even more astonishing at night.. i'll shoot more later.. (click thumbnails for larger view)

Saturday Madness

I slept kinda early last nite. It made me woke up quite early for saturday morning. Hey, saturday's supposed to be a sleep in day. You're free to drag till noon! But being a morning person.. i can't sleep when the sun's already expose its ray.. well, a leapord can't change its spots! Played my mp3 out loud, brushed my teeth and i just let myself in my pyjamas till noon. I know i'm gonna get sweaty so why get bathe too soon? Ahah.. no one's gonna see.. i can just run and laze around naked! who cares??

Sit for a while on the bench by my panel window.. watched the ray of lights coming through the window.. Closed my eyes and think what to do today.. My life has been in a mess.. I need to do something about it. Need to defrag whatever needs to be defragmented. Maybe there's too much bad sector in it. Before it eats my brain, i might have to do something about it. Did some yoga, eases a bit and started with clearing my room, a basic weekly routine i do everyweek. Wardrobe, wardrobe, wardrobe.. laundry and dust out!

Then it followed by a filing. My credit card statements, handphone bill, loan statements, and other utility bills and slips.. all have to be filed and managed. To realize it or not, they contribute to this chaotic mind. I gotta be more organized. I know i used to be one before.. but i kinda lose it bit by bit now.. i have to start to tune back before it it's too late.

Realized i have not been watching too much tvs nowadays.. i missed american next top model a few series and i have to start making reminders on must watchs. Hmm.. speaking of must-watch, Desperate Housewives new season starts mid apr. Not gonna miss it! Well, tidying room and organizing things are tiring as i have to sort, plan and think.. well, i'm done with it.. had my breakfast. Mom prepared delicious nasi goreng. I usually eat heavy breakfast but kinda eat less for dinner. I don't know if it works well for you guys but bunch of people around me don't take dinner at all. Its all about tummy. Maybe i'm just lucky to have a high metabolisme rate.. but i know i should gain more.. just have to watch out my cholesterol. With a plate of nasi goreng and a glass of milk i brought it up outstairs and plan to watch tv all day long. I gotta catch up on whats on tv! I'm hardly seen new advertisement on tv. Too much time spent on the internet makes me a boring geek. I turned to 11, there's not much on travel and adventure, turned mtv, songs nowadays don't interest me that much. Maybe i'm old enough to enjoy this new era's song. Bummer! Pressed 70, and yeah.. its "whose line is it ". Thats the right show at the right time. I need a spontaneous joke. Something that could make me laugh out loud like no one's business. And this show never failed to tickle my brain. The show's over.. i want to see more.. changed one chanel to another.. guess i just lost my groove. Nothing interests me. I'm no more a couch potato. Guess there's more better things to do.

I need to go out. Decided to take shower and head somewhere nice enjoying a cuppa. Probably klcc. and probably a movie if there's anything interesting later. If you happen to be reading this and have nothing to do, feel free to buzz me.. say.. starbucks? gotta get my shower and get ready now. chow!

Bobot.. the moody cat!!

Presenting Bobot... managed to snap few shots of him during my bro's gathering party. I know he looks very lazy and moody. And he's not very friendly. But being a persian, he is fully aware of how beautiful he is. Persians are quiet, although not shy, tend to be undemonstrative. Mmmmmwahh!! grrrammmmm....

Sharbat Gula by Steve McCurry

I am a bit laid-back in the office. Laid-back makes me lazy! And i hate it when i'm doing nothing in the office. It makes me look so unworthy! But anyway, tried to read some articles online.. a photo hopping i might say.. I just love gazing at pictures that i can make an emotion connection, until i came across this picture again. It never fails to mesmerize me everytime i look at this portrait of an Afghan Girl named "Sharbat Gula". I'm pretty much sure that you've came across this dramatic portrait in a National Geographic magazine sometime ago. Let me just briefly share with you guys, this Afghan Girl was found and captured on the National Geographic cover in 1985, yet at that time no one knows who she was.. She's no AMerican's next top model or the winner of a Playboy Cover Magazine..But her mysterious expression brings an impact to an esteemed journalist and an avid photographer all around the world and that makes her the most famous faces. Later, after 17 years, National Geographic marked down its success in meeting again this haunting green eyed woman. She was 30 with 3 daughters when they met her after years of searching this so-called Afghan Girl. Click this link for her stories.

To me her captivating eyes are much much.. way way..... more beautiful than the so-called divine Mona Lisa smile. (sorry to say about the fake-fagot smile-alike! Still wonder why it took da vinci 10 damn years to complete the painting.. hey i've been to louvre and saw it live.. maybe i'm just plain unartistic. but it's just a mediocre painting. I hope i don't offend anyone by my statement.. who knows if Da Vinci's great great great grand daughter is reading this!)

I'm not going to talk about Mona Lisa's life exeperience nor Sharbat Gula's here.. but her eyes show what she has gone through her life. Steve, you were spot on and managed to capture the right expression at the right moment. Very authentic and very original.. Kudos Steve McCurry..The look of mixed feeling that can only expressed by this photo of Sharbat Gula's..

I was tagged!

Gosh! I've been tagged! This is for you amir.. i don't think i'm tagging anyone..

Tag of 4

4 Jobs
1. Conteng computer
2. Kutip Hutang
3. Partime Blogging
4. Pembancuh kopi yg berjaya di Starbucks

4 Movies I love
1. Seniman Bujang Lapuk (all time fave!)
2. The Incredibles (i watch this family 5 times!)
3. The Sweetest Thing (i'm still a girl, love chick flick!)
4. Pretty Woman (quite an oldy, huh?)

4 places I've lived
1. Jalan Gurney, KL (it was like 20 years ago!)
2. Bandar Baru Uda, JB
3. Subang Jaya (current)
4. Tronoh (hey, its not that bad anyway.. a malaysian version of toronto)

4 TV shows I love to watch
1. Desperate Housewives
2. Sex and the City
3. American's Next Top Model
4. Friends

4 places I've been on vacation
1. Jakarta
2. France
3. Switzerland
4. Rome

4 blogs I visit daily
1. My blog
2. Persetankan
3. SelambaKodok
4. GiladBenari

4 favorite foods
1. Buttered Prawn
2. Spaghetti Marinara in Cream Sauce
3. Fried Mushrooms (the wilder the better)
4. Fish Manhattan Seafood Platter (damn, feels like having it today!)

4 places I'd rather be
1. Lying on white sandy beach, Pulau Perhentian
2. Walking by Oxford Street
3. Maldives
4. Anywhere in the world with Prince Charming

4 albums I can't live without
1. (hmm..i think i can live without 'em)
2.
3.
4.

4 vehicles I've owned
1. daripada buat malu, baik skip je..
2.
3.
4.

one hell of a day!

I know there something not right with me these few days. I thought it was just stress but i decided to pay a doc a visit. She acted cool but i know there's something wrong.. i have to come back again next week for further checkup. She gave me a pile of pills and i hate tablets! i hate medications! hope i'll be disciplined enough to complete it.. (anyone willing to be my PA for a week? hehehhe) I said to myself, i'm going to be okay. YES i will. when you're worry too much, you tend to think about it and you tend to lack your rest and sleep and of course that effects your health.. i'm going to be okay. i have to start thinking about my health rather than my stupid problems. Oh yeah, i need exercises and an activity partner. Holla me if you think of something good to do and need an activity partner..(something positive and healthy, please..) i'll be up for it!

The office made me me sick. I've been counting seconds for that day to end. The clock was ticking reeeaallly slow. And it was too cold. I was wrapping myself with my shawl the whole day. A colleague insisted i pack my stuffs and go back but being stubborn i'd rather stay for another few hours than wasting my MC. 5.30 pm sharp i got my arse off the office and force my weakself to the train. As usual the crowd was enormous. I decided not to fight for it.. i might collapse if i do so. And it left me and few passive people outside and the door was already struggling to close. I decided to take a train from Stesen Kuala Lumpur and that required me to cross to the opposite platform. And the trick is to face less crowd an win me a free seat. I waited for half an hour untill the announcement saying there's a force majeur accuring at the subang and batu 3 area. Damn! But atlast, I managed to get myself to Stesen Kuala Lumpur and had to wait another hour for a train to Pelabuhan Klang. I was cursing all the way. I tried to bare myself from fainting. I almost did. My body started to shiver and i tried to sit still, took a deep breath and moved my fingers to circulate my blood. Drop of cold sweat started to soak me. Another announcement came out from the speaker saying that the cause of the train to delay was due to heavy rain, a hurricane that caused many trees to be up uprooted. Geez! that bad? the condition in KL was ok. No rain, the wind was normal.. I wonder the earth is being unhealthy as i am now. So many mishaps happening these few days. One after another..

After an hour, the train finally reached and the number of people was as twice as mush as at the KL Sentral. I knew it was not a good idea to cross platform. I didn't get a seat anyway. No matter what, i knew i had to take that train. I didn't waiting for nothing. I have to say, it was extremely packed. People started to scream with anger pushing each other selfishly. I was pushed inside and i was praying hard i won't collapse or throw up being sandwiched by people with different kind of aroma scents.. God knows how bad the condition was. I need not to hold on anything. It was too pack to even fall down if there were an emergency brakes. It was the hell of 45 minutes and i was glad i managed to hold myself. My body started to ache, my knee felt so weak i couldn't walk and the crowd at the subang station was even worse than KL Sentral and Stesen Kuala Lumpur. Its even worse than a rock concert. I wish i could just snap the picture and prove it to you people.. I've never seen such a seen at the train station before. But heck! who cares. I reached Subang and i can't wait to go back and lie myself on my comfy crib.

My dad was already there wating for me and he said there's no electricity at home. The uprooted trees caused few places to black out. Damn.. another mishaps! Some of the houses roofs were blew off and caused chaos. And my nephew witnessed the stone pours (hujan batu) and snow. Cars were crushed by fallen trees and it was like a seen of a movie twister! Gosh!

Reached home and threw myself on my bed. It was black only lit by the dimmed candles. With no electricity, the house was so quiet. I hate it when i don't hear the sound of fan spinning. It was hot. I was in my office attire. Couldn't find a slight energy to change and freshen up. My condition worsen. My mom woke me up for dinner and it was still dark . I felt really hungry, my tummy started to play an unsynch orchestra. I dragged my feet to the kitchen. Tried to munch and swallow the food but i couldn't even feel my throat. It couldn't even swallow my own saliva The path is too narrow, i lost my voice and i felt a great pain. I was too hungry but yet i couldn't swallow anything. Threw my meal into the bin without even touching anything. I tried to gargle salt water and god knows how painful my throat felt. Mom suggested i go to the clinic. I refused at first ( because i already did early morning even though that was for a different cause) but she insisted, and i think i might need an MC for tomorrow.. i went to the clinic again. The doc said i have major fever. The temperature reached 40. And he gave me an MC for tomorrow. Just what i needed! I smiled in pain.. As for tonite, we have to migrate to my bro's house and reside overnight. what a day.. what a day!

nasi goreng kampung for breakfast & nasi kerabu for lunch??

I had heavy breakfast this morning, nasi goreng kampung with sambal ayam (a drumstick), and yet i feel hungry as if i didn't eat anything since morning..ish.. whats wrong with me ni? Had nasi kerabu for lunch.. but i ate for the sake of eating.. where have all my BIG appetites gone? Nafsu tgk food ada, but the urge of eating and finishing the food is not there..To some, yeah its good so that they could control their weight without having to starve. But not for moi.. Having this shows some sign of unhealthy or mind disturbance. (Tapi best gak tgk tummy flat kejap..) I miss the old me! God knows how much i love to eat and how much i enjoyed the food ate.

Maybe i do have some mind disturbance.. feeling a lil bit shaky inside for reasons i don't know why. Okay, forget about the mind disturbance. But what exactly controls the appetite? i thought appetite should come whenever you feel hungry.. it should work that way, kan? I hope my appetite will be back on track.. And at the same time, i need to do lots of work out and exercises to get my stamina back. I might be following a colleague to Gunung Angsi with the budak budak gunung.. And if it happens, its gonna be my first serious mountain hiking.. Please give me my stamina back...

hey, i'm back writing again!

i need a break..

Bag's packed.. i'm ready to go. I won't be online for some time.. not that long. Toldcha i need a vacation. Not that far (i wish it was further) but i need a wind of change. Just to divert what's been disturbing me for a while..

ps: i'm gonna have trouble with the money. I feel like a kindergarten student learning how to count numbers. Its just so strange dealing with BIG money yet small in value.. but anyway.. we're millionaires! heheeh.. see y'all later!

The mural of earth

I was doing the normal routine.. going to work and the first view i will come across every morning is the heavy traffic on the highway, bumper to bumper.. but i was a lil bit early than any other day..i knew i didn't have enough rest lately. So many things have been messing up my mind. Slept quite late, but i had to wake up early that morning because i hitched my dad's car and he had an early meeting in KL. He dropped me off the train. I was babbling to myself due to lethargy and lack of rest.. The moment i stepped out the vehicle, my black eye shined and i was petrified by the horizon.. sublime! Is it like this everyday or it was just today? I sigh in regrets for not noticing this beautiful live mural eversince. From now on, this beautiful carpet of mural will be the first thing i will gaze in the morning.With my eye still glued on the sky, i groped my sling back and took out my second eye and voila'. What i see is what you get!
(click on picture for larger version)

The sky was teasing me..

The sky looks beautiful today.. be it during the hot sunny day or during the sunset!

A jump to remember..

Don't think i need to elaborate more.. just enjoy the pics!


click for the ultimate jump goddess!

why afraid of confessions?

i was flipping the ASTRO guide to search for the American Next Top Model program. Browsed the long list of February guide booklet but couldn't find anything under Chanel V. (pls do let me know if anyone knows when its airing) Somehow i find the guide does not do much help..

I was changing the chanels to find any good show i could kill my time. I don't watch TV that often now.. i would say, i don't watch tv as frequent as i used to. Used to be a couch potato before! The air is too warm these few days.. i just came back from surau for Awal Muharam prayer and think i'll let myself cool off before i head to bed. The holiday seems too long for someone who does not plan anything or anywhere to go.. am supposed to be on the sandy beach of Perhentian Island now.. but hate to talk about it now..

There's not much on MTV.. i've been left behind on the entertainment.. TRL nowadays does not interest me as much as it used to before.. still was searching for one nice movie to watch. Thats when i stopped at RIA. There goes "Dalam hati Ada Cinta". I bet those malay drama watchers out there will get the idea what this drama is all about. For some reasons i always avoid myself from watching this typical love drama nowadays.. i have nothing against malay drama.. i even avoid myself from watching any love story nowadays.be it english, chinese, korean, japanese..etc...especially when it involves too much drama in it! I don't want to get myself involved emotionally.. ahah! don't ask why! But guess what?? i end up watching that malay drama till the end!! Maybe because for the fact that i like to see that cute actor Ako Mustafa.. naah.. i was just plain bored! Believe me, there was no other interesting show to watch! I have to say, it was not a good idea.. having mself trapped in their so called triangle love affair! No wonder this drama is dragged up to episode 4! lemme just brief.. A and B are deeply in love, until C came into the picture. B let C came in between and sacrifice her love for the sake of her sister (C). "A" was being so so moron by agreeing to marry C at first whereby he knows he is so deeply in love with B not C.. there goes the complications... bla..bla..bla...

I guess this drama could've come to its final conclusion and ends in only 1 episode if the guy, or girl just express and let out their true feelings! and put the hat of ego down.. Its simple.. if Abu likes Minah or if minah loves Abu.. just let the damn feelings out.. why make things complicated?? I wonder it in real life too.. why can't one be brave and express what he/she feels inside to the one he/she likes? Why make things complicated and drag things till one day he/she thinks its too late because the girl/guy he/she admires already taken by some other braver or luckier dude.. you lose the game without even starting it..(don't you think its like a punch to your face! ouch! or even worse, shits being thrown straight to your face.. busukkan??) maybe one is afraid of rejections.. well, everyone hates it, but imagine how much time you'll save by deciding to go on life without having to waste time and energy to think when is the best time to let him/her know of his/her feelings? it would be a long sigh of relief to get the answer to the question marks.. Its fine if she/he thinks you are not his/her cup of joe.. the chance is 50-50, would you rather face the glory of winning? the pain of rejections? or the confusion out of not knowing anything? the latter definitely not for moi..

ps: erm.. not another series of that drama again.. i will not involve myself in their play-hard-to-get, tarik-tali, leave-things-hanging scenes anymore..

i saw something fishy..

Half a day at Aquaria..
Admission fee= RM28 Rule=Can snap photo but with no flash. *sigh*
But hey.. i had a great time! thanx ed!
Wish the aqua tube was longer.. and a bit dissapointed that
the pic didn't turn out really good..
hmm..does it make any major disturbance to the fish if
we use flash, anyway?

i am officially 28 today..

Dear blog, its been sometime since i last written anything here.. yeah, gotta admit i was attacked by the snappy snappy bug! couldn't take my itchy hands off the camera. But i still miss writing.. i still love writing as much as i love taking photos. There are so many things in mind queing longed to be blogged out but it ended up left in my buffer leaving it expired. I lost my touch, my rythm to write my emotions out. Maybe i was too busy with my recent outa-town-meeting, but its a cliche excuse. i always make myself available when it comes to blogging before.. a colleague was wondering y i didn't blog for sometime.. i just couldn't answer her.. i've been so blur and blank these few days.. i don't know what i feel, everything seems so vague.. and i can't process my what i feel, hence i couldn't express it. Being 28 today and i still can't figure out what i feel inside..(yeah, its my birthday today) come to think of it, even a baby could express what they feel and what they want.. atleast they cry... whereelse, i am becoming so numb to even tell whats playing in my mind.. i am toally c.l.u.e.l.e.s.s

i don't expect anything for my birthday.. mom wished early morning and gave me a warm hug :).. few of online friends wished even earlier.. ex bf smsed early morning to wish..colleagues sang me a birthday song.. got a toilet role from my colleague as a prank gift! I'm sure it'd be a great lifesaver some day.. anyway, thanx friends!someone so special from america gave me a call and sang me a birthday song.. i was so overwhelmed and touched! even tho there's no cake, no balloons, no party pack, no gifts this year.. but i'm grateful and proud to be 28! Thank god i'm still able to breath, to walk, to see, to touch and to speak.. praying hard for HIS blessings thru out my whole journey!

Since i have no candle to blow this year.. let me just share with you my last 24 years' candle i've blown..

Tell me a better thing to do..

Another arty farty stuffs to kill my time.. and it got me up till 5.30 am without me even realizing it! Ahahah.. Guess i got infected by that Olympus bug!!

Presenting Cheetah

I felt like playing with a feline.. came back with lisa and she suggested cheetah. Cheetah just recovered from diarrhea.. yeah, cats do get diarrhea too! She was not as active as now. But when cat get drugs.. they can be hyper too! Its quite hard to capture her in action as she runs and jumping all over so actively! The vet gave her some appetite booster and some vitamin! Gosh it cost her over RM90 for the prescriptions! But again, for the love of a cat..

Divine..demure..

I got back from the office, the weather was a bit gloomy.. i saw my mom was reading the Qur'an in her room, lit by the lights coming in from the window. I think the lighting was nice. I love the semi dimmed ambience reflected in this room. She looked very calm and tranquilized..
Lights off, candle lit. The ambience looks very spiritual.

zoom.. action!

i speak no words... just testing my hands on my new toy..

au revoir 2005!!

Its 2 days before we hail goodbye to our so-called gonna be yesterday and start a new chapter of life. Some might be busy planning for new year eve party or some unions to celebrate. I have none in mind.. like previous years.. we never celebrated any party.. yeah, we did go once or twice. but it was none planned and it happened to be coincidentally we were there..

I am not feeling so good today.. guess the ending of my chapter will be closed by a my runny-nose, sore-throat and dry-cough. I guess its due to too much exposure to acid precipitation. As its rainy season now.. seems like its been pouring everyday.. besides, i barely had decent rest due to my year end project. Guess this is what i have to endure for procrastinating my work to a very last minute! but atlast, i completed my work.. my very end of the year's project. It went LIVE today.. i'm happy and i feel accomplished after few weeks of hardwork. Here i am, laying my back on this comfy inclined chair.. blogging.. prolly my last blog for this year. Its too chilly in the office today.. i can clearly hear the sound of the aircond coming out from the filter attached to the ceiling.. I'm covering myself with my oblong shawl but it isn't give much help to keep me warm.. Not sure if its due to my fever or the chiller might be broken. Made myself a hot tea to warm myself and 2 tablets of paracetamol to swallow.. i hope i'll be okay by tomorrow.. For one particular reason i can't wait to tomorrow.. I know i'm gonna see that japanese guy.. the one that i'm longing to see, to own.. i have made my choice, and i have to stand for my own choice - Olympus E500, my hunk sexy japanese lad.. You are going to be my new toy.. Its not easy to make such a right choice whereby i can barely find flaws in both..Nikon D50 and Olympus E500. Atleast, one of my 2006 resolution will be right off this year instead! (even tho neither D70s nor D50, but atleast its still DSLR!) I realized there's so many things i was supposed to achieve this year which still remains unattended.

The only thing i can significantly remember about 2005 is.. a year of a vacationer! Yeah, i did a lot of travellings this year.. my europe trip to name few was my major one.. a month of going in and out of countries.. one i can remember was when we had to cross geneve' border to go to one chinese convenient store in france to get bananas. A friend of mine was craving for goreng pisang (how 'mengada' does it sound?? pfft!) and the nearest shop that opens that day was at the border of france.. and we drove out from the country with our passport.. did i mention we were in pyjamas?? Unfortunately, we got blocked by the french imigration as one of us forgot to bring her original passport! Damn i felt like a drug smugler trying to cross border. Imagining myself in pyjamas.. naah.. we looked so innocent to act like a mafia! It took us almost half an hour for the officer to call Malaysian embassy to actually verify us. But we made it.. and managed to get 'pisang' to satisfy her cravings for 'goreng pisang'.. i reckoned that was the best 'goreng pisang' i ever had.. It was priceless!! (how priceless can't it be?? cost us €7 for less than 10 pieces of bananas). Okay, enuff about pisang and europe..

The da vinci code book that i'm reading now.. (ouh, i finally develop passion in reading! i'm so proud of myself! you couldn't believe how lazy i was before when it comes to reading.. i even barely read newspaper!) makes me wanna go to france again to appreciate the beauty of louvre and the history behind it.. there was so many things i didn't know about the musee' when i visited there. Will it be too cliche' if i say its gonna b my honeymoon destination later?? ahahah.. dream on girl.. u don't even have a bf! oops! did i just say enuff about pisang and europe in my previous paragraph??okay, i'll stop babbling about pisang, europe and my dream honeymoon spot! back to moi 2005 resolutions.. what else have i achieved?? let me put on my thinking cap... ehm... erm..

Gosh! Holly s*** the cursor has been blinking on my last sentence for 10 minutes.. and here i am scratching my unitchy head while figuring out my 2005 achievements. Guess i have nothing to shout about.. *sigh* None! Nada! pathetic...hope i don't have to repeat this next year.. insyaallah..

Anyway guys, HAPPY NEW YEAR and have a joyous and prosperous 2006! I'll see you next year in more of marshmallow ramblings... signing off...................................

for god's sake, get a room!!!

i felt so friggin lazy to head back home.. but i find no reason of staying any longer at the office. The company's not going to recognize every single drop of sweat i work my arse off for the company.. argh!! its too frustrating to even think about it. So, i decided to head back home after checkin my last emails for the evening. I know i missed the twin coach (the longer train) which arrives every evening about 5.47 if i'm not mistaken.. thats the only chance of getting a seat straight the whole journey. Alas, the next train is gonna be really really pack because thats when the rush hour starts.. well, for those who's not used to the bottleneck will be cursing just to get in the train.. bare the lack of disciplines among we malaysian people.. but if you don't, you'll end up be pushed behind and wait for another train and it does not guarantee you any seats neither!.. somehow or rather.. have to be one kiasu creature sometimes! hate it! but i'm still grateful we don't have to risk life just to reach to our destination by having to be on top of the train like how its been practiced in india.. geez, thought it only happens in a hindi clip! imagine.. me.. in an office attire.. on the train rooftop?? don't think its a pleasant scene to ever imagine! lol.

oppps! i'm doing it again.. being crappy is my weakness.. i'll try to put my points straight! this blog isn't about a sigh or a complaint on our "trainsportation" system.. nor about kiasu passengers.. its again about a despicable behaviour that grows like a mushroom nowadays... A phenomenal scene that i'd categorize either a trend or an epidermic amongst human race.

Back to the congested scene.. The train was punctual today.. i keep my pace slow and steady as i use the trainsportation everyday, kinda proud of myself for being able to mark the spot exactly where to door would stop.. so its kinda advantage for me as the door stop right in front of me.. i bookmarked the da vinci code i was reading which i borrowed from my new friend a week ago. Been trying to develop my passion in reading.. this time.. for real.. i keep my book and thought of continuing reading it in the train... As expected.. there were no available seats for me to allow a comfort reading.. but atleast there's a strategic spot with a pole for me to hold on to. The train can be nasty at times.. I almost fell off some time ago as i lose my balance after the train made an emergency jerk. I took out my Da Vici Code and continue reading it.. in front of me were 2 men in their mid 20s. From the look of it, they are not local.. and from the lip synch i can figure out they don't speak our language.. I'm pretty sure they are burmese.. but in well dressed attire.. both are in jeans, one in a nice short sleeved semi tight shirt.. and the other one was in a tight t-shirt. Geez, they look very meterosexual for a burmese. The one in a shirt has a fair complexion with a sweet look ( kira jambule mamat nih!) and the other looks a bit darker and macho.. the first few lines of the new chapter of the book i was reading was vague as i wasn't concentrating at all to the content. My mind keep processing what i saw..

I tried not to be busybody, but something forced me to watch these guys' behavior.. I took a looong deep breath when the jambu guy resting his hands on the other guy's lap.. at first i kept telling myself that it was just a friends gestures.. but the action got really misleading when they started rubbing each others fingers.. the other guy responded and whisper something to his partner's ears and the jambu guy gave him a weird smile and rest his head on his partner's arm!! started to caress his partner in a very affectionate way.. THAT"S IT!!! there's no point backing up these guy while obviously they are GAY! i noticed few people around me tried to look without making it too obvious.. but some couldn't control it but discussing with a disgust look about these gays.. I got really uncomfortable as i was standing right infront of 'em.. every actions were captured live.. i shall describe no more.. but their nuisance actions disgusted me the whole journey.. i can imagine the feelings that they are going thru.. we totally understand that love was in the air.. and for some desperate reason they are deeply in love but hell-low! get a room!!! I pity one old couple.. a makcik and a pakcik.. i couldn't describe the look on their face.. as a normal human beings.. i feel so embarassed.. I closed my book.... i already lost the plots.. the da vinci code is a book where you have to have a self presence on each and every character.. but having 2 gays doing a scene in front of me totally took all my concentrations away.. damn! how can i get rid of the playback of this intimacy moment of 2 abstracted beings! No wonder i'm still single.. all good fine men are taken! for god sake taken by men!! how pathetic life could be!

A conversation that left me ponder..

I was doing my work.. doing whatever shit i have to do.. with an uneased mind, but tried my best keeping my mind focused to my work.. i played my mp3 a lil bit louder than routine.. to constrain my brain to my own world.. out of the sudden, a colleague broke my box of concentration (i was not really concentrating.. my mind was contemplating something else..)

Miss T : marshmallow (not my real name), you are going to be 28 soon, right?
Me : what? i couldn't hear you.. (didn't realize i was shouting louder than my mp3! everyone looked) oops! (lowering the volume down) what did you say??
Miss T : Y.O.U A.R.E G.O.I.N.G T.O B.E 28 S.O.O.N right? (saying it out loud syllable by syllable)
Me : d'oh.. you don't have to remind me that....
Miss T : Don't you feel lonely?
Me : Hmm.. surprisingly no. Used to complain a lot but i think i'm immuned. Okay..okay.., do think of it sometimes.. but it doesn't bug my emotions.. Y?
Miss T : Don't you think you need someone when you see all of your friends clinging with their partners and some are already married?
Me : As i said.. used to be a cry baby.. but not anymore.
Miss T : After your break-up?
Me : Hmm.. yeah.. To me, its better being single and feel lonely sometimes rather than having a problematic relationship.. and having to crack your brain how to escape from your problematic situations.. atleast i don't involve anyone else.. i still have my friends and i can do things i wanna do as i wish! (i did sound very firm on that..). There's a beauty in a word s.i.n.g.l.e.. (click for my blog on being single)

She was satisfied with my answer (damn i look so confident uttering it).. deep down inside she might be thinking whether i'm anti relationship or a friggin lesbo! heheheh... but my last statement left me thinking, is that really so? i am unsure myself.. yeah.. i guess i'm right. I have my hobbies to keep me occupied.. and i'm happy with it.. What's the rush? Good thing's yet to come.. and things will likely to happen when you least expect it.