au revoir 2005!!

Its 2 days before we hail goodbye to our so-called gonna be yesterday and start a new chapter of life. Some might be busy planning for new year eve party or some unions to celebrate. I have none in mind.. like previous years.. we never celebrated any party.. yeah, we did go once or twice. but it was none planned and it happened to be coincidentally we were there..

I am not feeling so good today.. guess the ending of my chapter will be closed by a my runny-nose, sore-throat and dry-cough. I guess its due to too much exposure to acid precipitation. As its rainy season now.. seems like its been pouring everyday.. besides, i barely had decent rest due to my year end project. Guess this is what i have to endure for procrastinating my work to a very last minute! but atlast, i completed my work.. my very end of the year's project. It went LIVE today.. i'm happy and i feel accomplished after few weeks of hardwork. Here i am, laying my back on this comfy inclined chair.. blogging.. prolly my last blog for this year. Its too chilly in the office today.. i can clearly hear the sound of the aircond coming out from the filter attached to the ceiling.. I'm covering myself with my oblong shawl but it isn't give much help to keep me warm.. Not sure if its due to my fever or the chiller might be broken. Made myself a hot tea to warm myself and 2 tablets of paracetamol to swallow.. i hope i'll be okay by tomorrow.. For one particular reason i can't wait to tomorrow.. I know i'm gonna see that japanese guy.. the one that i'm longing to see, to own.. i have made my choice, and i have to stand for my own choice - Olympus E500, my hunk sexy japanese lad.. You are going to be my new toy.. Its not easy to make such a right choice whereby i can barely find flaws in both..Nikon D50 and Olympus E500. Atleast, one of my 2006 resolution will be right off this year instead! (even tho neither D70s nor D50, but atleast its still DSLR!) I realized there's so many things i was supposed to achieve this year which still remains unattended.

The only thing i can significantly remember about 2005 is.. a year of a vacationer! Yeah, i did a lot of travellings this year.. my europe trip to name few was my major one.. a month of going in and out of countries.. one i can remember was when we had to cross geneve' border to go to one chinese convenient store in france to get bananas. A friend of mine was craving for goreng pisang (how 'mengada' does it sound?? pfft!) and the nearest shop that opens that day was at the border of france.. and we drove out from the country with our passport.. did i mention we were in pyjamas?? Unfortunately, we got blocked by the french imigration as one of us forgot to bring her original passport! Damn i felt like a drug smugler trying to cross border. Imagining myself in pyjamas.. naah.. we looked so innocent to act like a mafia! It took us almost half an hour for the officer to call Malaysian embassy to actually verify us. But we made it.. and managed to get 'pisang' to satisfy her cravings for 'goreng pisang'.. i reckoned that was the best 'goreng pisang' i ever had.. It was priceless!! (how priceless can't it be?? cost us €7 for less than 10 pieces of bananas). Okay, enuff about pisang and europe..

The da vinci code book that i'm reading now.. (ouh, i finally develop passion in reading! i'm so proud of myself! you couldn't believe how lazy i was before when it comes to reading.. i even barely read newspaper!) makes me wanna go to france again to appreciate the beauty of louvre and the history behind it.. there was so many things i didn't know about the musee' when i visited there. Will it be too cliche' if i say its gonna b my honeymoon destination later?? ahahah.. dream on girl.. u don't even have a bf! oops! did i just say enuff about pisang and europe in my previous paragraph??okay, i'll stop babbling about pisang, europe and my dream honeymoon spot! back to moi 2005 resolutions.. what else have i achieved?? let me put on my thinking cap... ehm... erm..

Gosh! Holly s*** the cursor has been blinking on my last sentence for 10 minutes.. and here i am scratching my unitchy head while figuring out my 2005 achievements. Guess i have nothing to shout about.. *sigh* None! Nada! pathetic...hope i don't have to repeat this next year.. insyaallah..

Anyway guys, HAPPY NEW YEAR and have a joyous and prosperous 2006! I'll see you next year in more of marshmallow ramblings... signing off...................................

for god's sake, get a room!!!

i felt so friggin lazy to head back home.. but i find no reason of staying any longer at the office. The company's not going to recognize every single drop of sweat i work my arse off for the company.. argh!! its too frustrating to even think about it. So, i decided to head back home after checkin my last emails for the evening. I know i missed the twin coach (the longer train) which arrives every evening about 5.47 if i'm not mistaken.. thats the only chance of getting a seat straight the whole journey. Alas, the next train is gonna be really really pack because thats when the rush hour starts.. well, for those who's not used to the bottleneck will be cursing just to get in the train.. bare the lack of disciplines among we malaysian people.. but if you don't, you'll end up be pushed behind and wait for another train and it does not guarantee you any seats neither!.. somehow or rather.. have to be one kiasu creature sometimes! hate it! but i'm still grateful we don't have to risk life just to reach to our destination by having to be on top of the train like how its been practiced in india.. geez, thought it only happens in a hindi clip! imagine.. me.. in an office attire.. on the train rooftop?? don't think its a pleasant scene to ever imagine! lol.

oppps! i'm doing it again.. being crappy is my weakness.. i'll try to put my points straight! this blog isn't about a sigh or a complaint on our "trainsportation" system.. nor about kiasu passengers.. its again about a despicable behaviour that grows like a mushroom nowadays... A phenomenal scene that i'd categorize either a trend or an epidermic amongst human race.

Back to the congested scene.. The train was punctual today.. i keep my pace slow and steady as i use the trainsportation everyday, kinda proud of myself for being able to mark the spot exactly where to door would stop.. so its kinda advantage for me as the door stop right in front of me.. i bookmarked the da vinci code i was reading which i borrowed from my new friend a week ago. Been trying to develop my passion in reading.. this time.. for real.. i keep my book and thought of continuing reading it in the train... As expected.. there were no available seats for me to allow a comfort reading.. but atleast there's a strategic spot with a pole for me to hold on to. The train can be nasty at times.. I almost fell off some time ago as i lose my balance after the train made an emergency jerk. I took out my Da Vici Code and continue reading it.. in front of me were 2 men in their mid 20s. From the look of it, they are not local.. and from the lip synch i can figure out they don't speak our language.. I'm pretty sure they are burmese.. but in well dressed attire.. both are in jeans, one in a nice short sleeved semi tight shirt.. and the other one was in a tight t-shirt. Geez, they look very meterosexual for a burmese. The one in a shirt has a fair complexion with a sweet look ( kira jambule mamat nih!) and the other looks a bit darker and macho.. the first few lines of the new chapter of the book i was reading was vague as i wasn't concentrating at all to the content. My mind keep processing what i saw..

I tried not to be busybody, but something forced me to watch these guys' behavior.. I took a looong deep breath when the jambu guy resting his hands on the other guy's lap.. at first i kept telling myself that it was just a friends gestures.. but the action got really misleading when they started rubbing each others fingers.. the other guy responded and whisper something to his partner's ears and the jambu guy gave him a weird smile and rest his head on his partner's arm!! started to caress his partner in a very affectionate way.. THAT"S IT!!! there's no point backing up these guy while obviously they are GAY! i noticed few people around me tried to look without making it too obvious.. but some couldn't control it but discussing with a disgust look about these gays.. I got really uncomfortable as i was standing right infront of 'em.. every actions were captured live.. i shall describe no more.. but their nuisance actions disgusted me the whole journey.. i can imagine the feelings that they are going thru.. we totally understand that love was in the air.. and for some desperate reason they are deeply in love but hell-low! get a room!!! I pity one old couple.. a makcik and a pakcik.. i couldn't describe the look on their face.. as a normal human beings.. i feel so embarassed.. I closed my book.... i already lost the plots.. the da vinci code is a book where you have to have a self presence on each and every character.. but having 2 gays doing a scene in front of me totally took all my concentrations away.. damn! how can i get rid of the playback of this intimacy moment of 2 abstracted beings! No wonder i'm still single.. all good fine men are taken! for god sake taken by men!! how pathetic life could be!

A conversation that left me ponder..

I was doing my work.. doing whatever shit i have to do.. with an uneased mind, but tried my best keeping my mind focused to my work.. i played my mp3 a lil bit louder than routine.. to constrain my brain to my own world.. out of the sudden, a colleague broke my box of concentration (i was not really concentrating.. my mind was contemplating something else..)

Miss T : marshmallow (not my real name), you are going to be 28 soon, right?
Me : what? i couldn't hear you.. (didn't realize i was shouting louder than my mp3! everyone looked) oops! (lowering the volume down) what did you say??
Miss T : Y.O.U A.R.E G.O.I.N.G T.O B.E 28 S.O.O.N right? (saying it out loud syllable by syllable)
Me : d'oh.. you don't have to remind me that....
Miss T : Don't you feel lonely?
Me : Hmm.. surprisingly no. Used to complain a lot but i think i'm immuned. Okay..okay.., do think of it sometimes.. but it doesn't bug my emotions.. Y?
Miss T : Don't you think you need someone when you see all of your friends clinging with their partners and some are already married?
Me : As i said.. used to be a cry baby.. but not anymore.
Miss T : After your break-up?
Me : Hmm.. yeah.. To me, its better being single and feel lonely sometimes rather than having a problematic relationship.. and having to crack your brain how to escape from your problematic situations.. atleast i don't involve anyone else.. i still have my friends and i can do things i wanna do as i wish! (i did sound very firm on that..). There's a beauty in a word s.i.n.g.l.e.. (click for my blog on being single)

She was satisfied with my answer (damn i look so confident uttering it).. deep down inside she might be thinking whether i'm anti relationship or a friggin lesbo! heheheh... but my last statement left me thinking, is that really so? i am unsure myself.. yeah.. i guess i'm right. I have my hobbies to keep me occupied.. and i'm happy with it.. What's the rush? Good thing's yet to come.. and things will likely to happen when you least expect it.

it's supposed to be MY nite...

Got home late again tonite.. took off my office attires.. Lit up my aromatherapy musk candle (makin it reeaaal dimmed).. Played my diana krall, my fave soul selection to unwhine my tired mind. Plan to take a looong warm shower before i take my lacked beauty sleep. I wish i'll have a decent sleep tonite on my comfy bed in a very comfy attire.. i need this.. i need to feel warm and pampered.. open my wardrobe and grabbed one nice comfy boxer ( i reckon i haven't worn it for quite some time) and a nice breathable top. Geez, this boxer feels so fine... whilst i enjoy the good feeling, suddenly slides of memory started to flash till i notice the boxer actually belonged to my history.. the music turns sour and my soulful mood turns berserk! For god sake i'm not going to be in my ex's boxer tonite! (not even any nite) And for sure i am not going to put someone i want to forget near 'there'.. It spoilt my nite.. my mood.. got myself changed n threw d boxer off my sight! Nite peeps!

999 roses for a lady???

This article caught my attention this morning.. i was like.. what?? 999 roses that costs RM3,500 for his girlfriend's birthday?? i wonder whether such men still exists!! $@*@thought my ex was the only romantic creature on earth for sending me a room of full of roses.. let me think.. (scratching my head) erm... about 9 years ago?? aiya.. that was during jack dawson uttered the word "u jump i jump" to rose in titanic! ahahah...

hmm.. not to say i'm against anything romantic and sentimental here.. but i guess i'm losing the sense of it bit by bit.. been single for some time.. no lovey dovey messages and bedtime lullabye.. no more roses for valentines and love letters.. sad to say, i "forgot" how the feeling was to receive those by a dear ones! (argh! pathetic!)

whoa!! it took her 5 years to open up for the guy.. for whatever reasons.. good for her to have such a romantic partner ( or rich! if thats what she goes for.. ) but i'm sure.. love does not determined by how many stalk of roses one receives.. but to me, it's more meaningful if he plucks just an ordinary wild flowers and hand it to me with his sincere heart! I'll be the sweetest smile in a million smile.

999 roses for a lady

Friday December 16,2005

Businessman Dan Yeoh, who believes in the power of jiu (nine), which represents longevity and eternity, gave his dream girl 999 roses for her 27th birthday.

Yeoh, 36, said 999 red roses also meant “ni shi wo tian chang di jiu de ai (you are my eternal love)”.

“I wanted her to have an unforgettable birthday and also wish that her happiness will be jiu jiu (very long),” he said.

Yeoh said he met Yvonne Tan five years ago but had no chance to get know her better until the past three months when they went out together with friends.

Knowing that Tan loved flowers, Yeoh decided to give her a big surprise on her birthday by ordering 999 red roses in a bouquet shaped like a three-dimensional heart, decorated with silver ornaments and a crystal.

It took the florist a week to get the fresh roses from Cameron Highlands and three days to make the giant heart.

It cost Yeoh about RM3,500.

“Money is not a factor as long as she is happy,” he said, adding that he took a flight from Kuala Lumpur after work to be with her on her birthday.

Tan was speechless at first when she received the roses.

“It’s too good to be true,” she said. She thought Yeoh was joking when he told her he would be giving her 999 red roses.

The part-time florist said she was passionate about flowers and her favourite were red roses that represented “love”.

“There were some admirers who gave me 99 roses and even 108, but 999 is really a shock!” she said.

Tan said she found Yeoh to be friendly and caring, but never expected him to be “so romantic”.

Farewell Penang..

I just got back and extremely tired.. but i had a blast time with the food! I'm sleepy, need my decent sleep on my own comfy bed.. the hotel was mediocre.. nothing to fancy about.. Gurney drive used to be a must place to go.. we drove away to locate it.. but god knows it was relocated and not as good as it used to be..

Anyway, work was accomplished even though we had to extend another a day.. More trips to come.. tiring but enjoying it.. I gotta sleep.. i just got to!
Accidentally deleted my previous blog. Argh!! Good nite peeps!

Can i have both of you?? :(

Lately i've been dreaming a lot about him. I can't stop myself from thinking..the feeling of owning him.. do i sound so stingy? i don't know whether i could get along with him well until we bond with each other. But my curiousity and my feelings are growing each and every single day.. i don't feel the same when i look at others. Whenever we r together, i feel complete, passionate, and i don't think i could get enough of him. But due to some circumstances it stops me from moving to another step.. shall i wait? keep my options open? or shall i proceed and try to live and share our good moments together?

But lately, someone introduced me to a new someone. He looks so fine in his black attire.. I'm quite surprised how he knocked me on my feet so easily.. I saw him once in klcc. And i can't seem to forget him too. My feelings has divided into 2. I tried to be rasional.. weigh down  each characters and personality carefully.. i gotta make a careful decision. When it comes to makin choice.. i have to say i'm sux at it. I can be very indecisive when it comes to my own personal things.. especially when i'm into something so much.

Let me describe about them.. They have quite the same features.. japanese look with a solid body, tough dark skin..stand tall, well-build.  i don't easily fall for someone but in this case,  .. i think i'm falling in love at first sight. Friends have been telling lots of good thing about them.. Well, each does differ in their own ways.. I'm in a very critical situation which i have to make a very wise decision. I'm clueless, the more i  know about them.. the harder i have to decide. Studying each character doesn't do me any help.. i feel even more confused. Anyone out there who's very good in this department? Please.. help! help me! Give me some suggestions.. Shall i go for Nikon D50 or Olympus E500????  ahahah..which handsome guy u think i'm crapping about? Me and my lazy nite mode..

..signing off..

Jamil the catlover!

A friend brought me to Bukit Bintang and surprised me with something. Heard of Jamil the catlover? He's been aired and interviewed by the media some time ago for his passion for felines! He's not just an ordinary cat lover. Imagine, adopting stray and homeless cat, take care and provide comfortable home for 'em. Guess what?? He has 52 cats at home. Takes care of em, feed 'em, train 'em. He parks his scooter everyday and there goes the felines .. resting like no one's business on the scooter for public viewing. He's not an attention seeker nor using those feline for money.. but for a good deed. Public passing by who wants to pat or taking photograph has to donate some money.. Its not easy to maintain cats especially the cost to for its food, medication and etc..etc.. For a catlover like moi, i don't mind chip in money just to take a photo with them..

One funny incident happen.. i was so impressed and delightful to see how diciplined the cats were. They obeyed whatever instructions given by Jamil. There was one time where one of the male feline trying to jump over on the other female feline's back (u know what they are trying to do).. Jamil shouted "Not here Shakita, Not now!".. (all of his cats' name start with shaki..). And guess what shakita did? He, stopped his intention and go back to his seat! (Who can resist sex that easy???especially cats!) Geez, i wonder how jamil managed to train 'em.. Trust me.. you'll be delightful to see those fat cats.. Go pat and see while donating.. help 'em.. who could resist seeing such an innocent creature.. location? in front of Watson Jalan Bukit Bintang.. 5-10pm everyday except for Wednesday. Witness it.. I donated some money for these poor cats and took some photos of 'em.. For more stories of Jamil the catlover.. click here

These are some photos taken..

2006 resolutions..

resolutions..resolutions.. what are your new resolutions? sounds very cliche' huh? i hate to list down my resolutions because it seems like i've been repeating last year's list into my new list. And the list end up getting longer! Hate to say, age is soon going to be 2 years to 30! And the magical date is January 24th..( i repeat.. january 24th..hehehehh...) as u may say, its just a god damn digits.. stay young at heart! am i right? ahahah...that phrase ain't work anymore.. i do feel old.. and again, people keep saying.. old is gold.. argh!! friends my age.. some of 'em already earn handsome pay with good career.. some already owns a house or a property! (u know who u are), some are married with 2 kids! well, i'm not complaining... erm! I AM COMPLAINING.. well, just another resolutions to share with u bunch people! Mind sharing yours?

1) Find Another job --> still actively searching for one! hope 2006 brings luck to me!

2) Get an iBook --> it's my previous 2 years wish. damn! its gotta b next year!!

3) Get myself a D70s or atleast D50 --> Me and my itchy hands, my passion, my companion.. surveying the price.. and tying my belt for it!

4) Get a wheels --> totally depends on Goal#1, see.. my priority goes for Digital SLR! I'm a loyal passenger of lrts..

5) Put on braces, i hate my teeth! --> must do! after Goal#6, before Goal#7. heheheh....

6)For God's sake! Get a bf! --> erm.. no comment! *wink*wink

7)Get married! Been sleeping alone for too long! --> ahahaahha....this is forcedly included in my resolution list after a long nag (all the way from jb to kl) by my parents! For u, mom! And it totally depends on Goal#6.

Corporate Warrior Training.. anyone?

One training after another.. Have another training soon. And its called "Corporate Warrior". I'm sure some of you guys been to that training before. I'm looking forward for it as i love outdoor activities. But never been camping before. Eager, curious and anxious. The location is gonna be in Jeram Besu, Pahang. But the wheather condition worries me a lot! Some of the area in Pahang is flooding and i don't think its very safe to go. (and leeches gonna be everywhere!!!!) Anyway, the training is still on, and i don't wanna think too much on the negative sides. I got a list of stuffs here.. People, (guys especially) i need your help.. kindly add points to the list where necessary and i need some tips especially on "how to prevent leeches" because i hate that creature!!!

1) 3 pairs of long pants (Jeans/Track/pants/outdoor type)
2) 2 pairs of shorts
3) Minimum of 5 pieces of underwear (dispossable ones??)
4) 4 pair of socks (some told me i should get the football sock as it's longer, gonna b a hardwork for the leech to climb)
5) 5 pieces of T-Shirts
6) A cap
7) 1 bath Towel
8) 1 face towel ("Good Morning" type --> what the hell is "Good Morning" type?)
9) A pair of shoes (Tracking Outdoor type. Beware of shoes that have not been used for more than 6 months. The soles of this shoes tend to give way. So pls use them to check its condition. BTW, if you need a new pair, don't spend too much. As long as they have soles with good grip, you'll do fine) Whats the price like and where do i get cheap ones with good grips? any tips??
10) A pair of slippers/sandals
11) Toiletries : Toothbrush, Toothpaste, Shampoo or any other personal favourites
12) Personal Torchlights with extra batteries and bulbs
13) A pen knife
14) Herbal insect repellant
15) Any prescribed medications

Items that will be provided by camp :
1) Knapsacks
2) Parang
3) Cooking utensils and rations for outdoor sessions
4) Tents
5) Food

Mayday! Mayday! RED ALERT!

Zits?? arghhhh.. By looking at my 2 red swollen an almost ready to erupt volcano enough to turn my mood off. yup! i'm talking about my 2 symetrical zits on my cheeks. I try to avoid looking at the mirror that often and try to handcuff myself from touching my face. Today is the day that's been highlighted in the calendar as the blue monday and gloomy is my second name. Especially when you have long break and long journey back from a holiday. Reached home quite late last nite from my trip to JB. It was one hell of a tiring and loong journey. Imagine we had to stop at almost every R&R due to my sis having diarrhea. And of course she gotta go when she gotta go! That delayed our journey.I woke up late this morning without realizing i don't have anything ironed to wear to work. Rushed to shower. Had an express shower and glanced at the mirror!! Arrrggghh!! zits!! big! red!! I feel like going back to bed and pull my blanket and continue sleeping and submit an MC to my boss tomorrow.. but thinking of my pile of work in the office.. (still not doing anything now.. i'm blogging...heheh) i just open my closet and grabbed my white sweater and my pants . Put some powder and theres no need to conceal it with extra coverage because i will end up looking like a chinese opera. Covered them with my hair.. and Voila!Looked at my wrist watch.. damn.. its almost 7.15 and my bro was already waiting for me.. As i ran down the stairs, i felt a severe contractions in the musculature of my tummy. Pulling and twisting my muscle back and forth in a weird rotations. I stumbled down and i think i have to rush to the loo! Geez.. it must've been the food at the wedding yesterday.. and the grilled cockles, grilled tofu with peanut gravy, portugese sting-ray and the deep fry squid i had at Lido the nite before.. or have i been cursed by my sis for acting grumpy and muttering too much words of complaints for her stopping too much for loo breaks. After struggling myself in the loo for couple minutes (i know my bro was already waiting outside), clean up and rush.. i stumbled once again.. this time a double contraction.. gosh it did it again.. had to rush back to the loo.. and no.. it was not diarrhea.. its the time of the month! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! no wonder the zits... and my gloomy self!Its not easy to be a woman, realizing i'm having my period (although its a bit late this month) and no wonder its causing me pain. I don't see y i should be embarassed blogging about this because at least it gives you male out there some clue how period effects us female. So, those of you who have girlfriends who suffer from menstrual pains (in the medical term we call it 'dysmenorrhea') don't blame them for behaving weird (understand them, love them and accomodate them) . Ok, for a severe cases (which i'm thankful i don't suffer from having one).. someone told me (who experienced one) imagine the pain of giving birth.. its almost the same feeling but of course with less contractions and muscle pulls. Another good friend of mine, cry herself to bed struggling fighting the pain of 'dysmenorrhea' and has to pay a doctor a visit every month to get an ammunition pills or sometimes an injection to fight it. No wonder some acting weird, hot-tempered (which i'm glad i still manage to control my emotions when the time comes).No wonder i couldn't sleep last nite.. having discomfort which i thought was a diarrhea. Woke up in a middle of the nite and looking at the watch its 3 am in the morning is not a pleasant dream to bare. Tried to close my eyes tightly but still imagining stuffs i didn't want to imagine.. plus struggling to fight the pain.... does this give me good reason to extend my holiday? shall i take an MC and go back and sleep????? what about my pile of work??? pffttt!!!

Purrrfect day with the purrrfect ones!

A friend was outa town and she left me a key with a task. Feed her babies.. OMG there are so cute and adorable! It breaks my heart to see them locked in a cage! As soon as they saw me, they started meowing hungrily.. oh..poor felines!!! Being with 'em never fail to put a smile to my face and just by looking at them brings my cheer mood back! They take my breath away... oh!

Our "special" coco powder..

We were about to bake our special chocolate cake for today's second family gathering.. Ok, first things first, getting all the ingredients ready.. We still have a balance of our coco powder from previous baking. But it wasn't enough.. Tried to dig our kitchen drawer hoping there's some left because we only need a few grams of it. Ahh.. found one!! But, i gave strange look to my sis.. she asked y.. i showed her the coco powder i found.. geez! Look at the date, my mom must've packed it together when we moved here from JB. JB??? oh gosh.. it was like 6-7 years back!! i had no guts to even open it. who knows there's a mini dinosour breeding in there!! Before i thrash it to the garbage let me just snap it for you for your own precaution. Check the expiry date before using it!!

skeletons in your closet

I'm still in the office and i don't feel like going home. Been like this for the past few days.. No, i don't have issues at home.. nor obsess with the office ambience. Me and my clueless self.. always having trouble figuring out my own piece of shit. I know there's something trembling inside. I enjoy the feeling of freedom, listening to music, turning that volume to the max after office hour! doing my own thing without being scrutinized by any envious eyes. I love writing, expressing myself through any indirect means.. be it arts, songs, writings.. rather than showing expressions and effect other people's life with your own burden. I'm not disguising myself nor pretend to be someone i don't, but hiding my emosions and what i feel inside infront of people surrounding me could save your arse off. People don't care what shit you are having inside. But disclosing too much emotions or secrets give them leeways to spread rumors and backbite you. Sometimes you think your life and your private life is being intrude and invade by irresponsible party with malicious intentions. I don't know what good does that make to them. Maybe some sort of satisfaction due to their envious feelings. Some does that for different reasons. It makes me realize people goes own their routine life with different goals, objective, and sometimes hidden agendas. Like what has been narrated by Mary Alice in "Desperate Housewives" .. everyone has their own deepest darkest secret.. the question is.. whats the skeleton in your closet? Would you open up and share it publically? with the one you love? or will it remain in you your lifetime?

Beef Rendang in the makin!

A day with hari raya cuisine! I jot down my mom's succulent rendang daging recipe with the step-by-step snap shots. It works for a forgetful person like me. Mind me and my raya mood! Girls might enjoy these blogs i don't know about u guys out there.. well, girls gotta do what girls gotta do.. i'll be back on track for non-kitchen blog in no time at all.. stay put eh!

More raya cookies!!

Another sets of raya cookies!

Sweet crunchy cornflakes & hazelnut smothered with Australian honey..


Crunchy chocolate chip cookies. We bought this!

this is our traditioned kuih gunting! a must do kuih every year.
Its 'udang kering' (dried baby shrimps) based.

Some raya cards to kill my time!

Some of the raya cards designed using stuffs not more than 1 meter

radius from where i'm sitting.( in case if u ask, y coke bottle?)
I'm too lazy to find ketupat and props people normally use for raya theme!
The cloth is my kain raya yg tak sempat bikin baju raya!! uwargh!!!

And this is the wedding door gift from one of my friend's wedding!

(i couldn't remember who??). Bolehla jadi prop raya!! enjoy!!

Taste like chocolate!!!

What a day??!! geez i need a back massage after a long day of baking this cookies.. This is one of our tradition london almond cookies besides our 'kuih gunting' and mamar carries. But we don't make marmar carries this year. Bet atleast half of the guys who read this blog have no idea what crap i'm talking about. Hope the pic gives some hint or atleast some thoughts "ah..i had that cookies before!" Ok, i better rest my back for now.. another few sets of honey cornflake tomorrow! Signing off!!

disneyland resort - paris

disneyland resort - paris
Originally uploaded by marshma11ow.

He is soooo cheeky! Who knows if there's a hunk french goofy underneath! Bet how's the Hong Kong goofy will sound like!??

i miss her..

i miss her..
Originally uploaded by marshmallow.

Lisa's housemate's cat. She (the owner) and Didi just moved out of the house to KL. Everytime i visit lisa i kinda miss didi's presence. Used to hug and cuddle her.. damn i need a cat to hug now.. :(

Lagu Raya!!

Just browsing thru bola2api blogs and came across this nice collections of lagu raya. Courtesy of Randomness.

Koleksi lagu raya I (mp3)
Koleksi lagu raya II (mp3)
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Another train story

Disclaimer:This is not a jealousy blog as a matter of someone else's boobs are bigger than mine, its just a portrayal how lacking of self awareness can effect the other human beings. And i'm going to use the word ' t*t*k' (boobs) a lot in this writings. If you are allergic with it, you may not want to proceed and please close the window.

As usual i was waiting for the train to work. This time i didn't have to wait for long, and kindly gave way to this almost due pregnant lady. And that gave me a small room enuff for me to squeeze in. From the look of it, it almost impossible for another passenger to enter. I can see some of the later passengers step back to allow the door to close. A split seconds before it's closed, there came a plump indian lady assailed harshly from the elevator straight to where i stood. Geez i'd describe her as a moving t*t*k as the first thing u could possibly notice is her humungous saggy flesh hanging on her chest. That few seconds of curse glued my eyes (and i bet others eyes in the train too) on her t*t*k. I got stumbled when i feel something pushing me back further into the congested train! He-lllowww.. doesn't mean you have gigantic assets you could simply 'molest' other peeps with it! I seriously felt molested by a large weird creature. Now her t*t*k is exactly right in front of me an her stinky breath acting like an aromatherapy scents as if trying to ionize the whole area. It really made me feel sick. I didn't wanna be cursed the whole journey and decided to turn myself back. Geez i'm back to my normal breathing.. relief! The pain didn't end there.. everytime the train brakes, her t*t*k will be violently pushed to my back firmly. To a point, my imaginative mind concluded that she just had a boob job and did it on purpose trying to make an elasticity test on it. D'oh!!! I think she might wanna test it on other object or opposite genders.. it'd be more appropriate and might be pleasing to the guy. I can't wait to escape the train, as the door opens at kl sentral, i struggled myself escaping from the limited room between her body out from the train and finally.. i was free like a bird. phew! I glimpsed on her and saw this one corpulent man replaced my position. Lucky him.. may the force be with you.

The t-shirt that betrays me..

tshirt1
Originally uploaded by fatini_z.

I can't believe i went to the PARAM (Pasar Ramadhan) in this t-shirt. I'm being observant enough when it comes to the surroundings.. but i can't believe i didn't even notice the wordings on my t-shirt after wearing it for almost a year! I hope no one noticed that n thinks i'm just another attention-seeker! ahahaha.. looks like this comfy seasoned lil t-shirt will not be seen in public anymore.. geez.. (click on t-shirt for larger version)

My crappy blog

Its thursday and another long day to go before weekends.. The day awaits by all of us. And its my last fasting day before ramadhan al-mubarak. Actually i have no motif of writing.. i'm just bored.. Felt like going to surau and take a nap.. but i'm afraid its gonna end up a loong deamland. There's another few colleague of mine whose also in the office not going for lunch.. Each with their own agendas.. one is fasting, one is on diet, one is a computer freek..doing some codings and stuffs.. and one is doing crossed-stich.. ahahhaah... here i am.. writing.. accompanied by you.. the one who reads my piece of crap! Yeah.. continue reading if you want to share my mind blogging moment.. or u can stop here if u think its just another crap by a hungry blogger who's trying to chanel her tempted mind into something else. Even though i'm typing here but my mind is still thinking about food. where to eat afterwards.. guess what ?? my fasting partner and i were brainstorming on places to eat to celebrate our end of 'puasa ganti'. ahahah..yeah.. u can laugh.. i know it's a bit ridiculous.. we haven't even started ramadhan.. but.. chillis does sound tempting.. after few minutes of contemplating moment on menus and stuffs to eat..from double-basted Baby Back Ribs and sizzling fajitas to a mouthwatering buffalo wings.. the food slide shows keep coming back and forth into my devilish mind..hmmm...yummy! (ok, people.. say what ever u wanna say.. Me and my lusty mind..) Astaghfirullahalazim...what am i doing??? at the end we came to one decision.. not to eat at chillis.. but ikan bakar masjid jamek! hehhe.. from a western cuisine to our very own local malay food! sounds good.. ikan bakar..with air asam..just for me! perfecto!!

A guy who made my day..

I was supposed to fast today.. but i didn't eat anything for sahur.. even drink! Again.. monday blues is coming to bug lazy bums creatures like me. I'm so lazy to get up.. so lazy to walk to shower, so lazy to iron my clothes and even lazy to get dressed. Open my wardrobe thinking what to wear.. my lazy eyes spot few clothes but only those which i don't need to iron.. gazing for 5 minutes untill i realized my sleepyself stumbled into the world of unconsciousnous. Simply took my pink baju kurung (the one that need not to be ironed). I head to the office in my sloven mode. The traffic was as usual.. bumper to bumper and extremely slow.. i dozzed off and stumbled few times.. My bro dropped me at the train and i was dragging my feet to take the train.. Damn! a very looooog Q and i had to skip the 1st train to give way to peeps before me. The second one took a bit long to reach, i bet its gonna be sardined (as the malaysian describes crowded and stuffy). It finally arrived and i pushed myself in no matter how stuffy it was till it almost blocked the door. I was squeezed in between people.. the train passed by few stops but none could enter.. till we reached bangsar since few peeps dropped off there.. This is where the climax began.. I only managed watching people trying to squeeze in without any capability to help.. I almost stumbled in my lethargic world again until something actually caught my attention.. Something really pleasing.. i managed to gaze for few seconds without a single blink untill that something realized that he was being watched stingily by someone. I was caught in the act! felt myself blushed.. i turned my face away but i knew it was too obvious.. the door was about to close.. i peep thru the glass and he was still looking.. i tried to stand behind a lady to hide my blushing face..(did i tell u before i am shy girl?) but i can see that he was still looking without guilt.. damn he looked so calm.. but his looks bring 1000 meanings that i can never tell.. and i can say that he looks really pleasing to my eye.. not extremely gorgeous nor an absolute hunk.. but good enough to take my breath away for 1 sweet memorable minute. I almost choked myself and grasp for breath.. the train passed n then i can normally breath. But the look of him still lingers in my mind.. i dropped off at the next stop and walked up to the office with the sweetest smile.. no more sleepy eyes. Thanx mr anonymous guy, u did nothing but u transformed my blues into a colorful rainbow.

The day i go grrrr!!

What a day!! fight.. fight.. fight.. cry.. cry.. cry.. but hell no.. not infront of the publics.. only if there's a cctv in the sunway pyramid public toilet.. I went emosional over things which.. i don't know y. Maybe its just me.. or maybe the surroundings that irks me for long and long for the best time to burst it magmas.. Poor the skinny malay manager at the Pizza Hut. He was just started his shift but what a bad day to start ..got punished by an emosional customer who has problem with her own emotions. But i think i have a strong reason for bursting out, but as a manager he has to get the negative credit and take the blame over his staff's incompetencies. I still remember his innocent look with that large specs uttering words of explanation.. His English was not that clear and that even pissed me off..(i'm not insulting)but.. Cakap je la bahasa melayu!! Apa? do i look like an angry english woman for god's sake?! But, i'm a forgiving person.. my soft heart is easily cured with sincere apologies.. after some time.. went back..sleep.. weep.. sleep.. and come to think of it.. i shouldn't have bursting out my temper. But guys.. Imagine i had to wait for god damn 45 mins just for a god damn garlic bread and have to wait for another 17.5 minutes for our pizza.. (17.5? i know it sounds weird..but that's what the manager said). The mistake started when one of the waitress actually mistaken the table number and sent it to other table first. Lame! I'm the type of person who keeps quiet and very patient over these matters.. I HATE arguments.. but today is not a good day to MESS around with a hungry emosional woman.. grrr!! i'm not going to talk about the problems thats bugging me.. but trust me.. strong strong reason to get emosional.. Some of you might be asking whether i get any discounts or complimentary dish? Naaah.... just a bowl of salad.. but we didn't take it.. By any chance if you (Pizza Hut manager) ever comes across this blog.. hey.. sorry if i uttered harsh words that makes you have to take a break and go to the toilet and weep.. or if it effects your mood for the whole day and your staff gets the impact.. i'm sorry..i really do.. but hey.. "Customers are always Right".

My artsy-fartsy stuffs

Another artsy-fartsy stuffs depicting objects.. hope you enjoy 'em!

An abandoned old rope captured from an abandoned boat.
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Pole and net captured at the fisherman's village in Pulau Perhentian
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The fancy pink slippers has traveled that far.

Our Merdeka Nite..

The plain unintended merdeka celebration finally turned to be kinda cool. Planned to have late dinner at gazebo, but for no strong reason we made an emergency turn heading to federal highway. After a moment of brainstorming on makan places.. we decided to go to hartamas. better range varieties of food.. With my seasoned pair of jeans beach baby-T, we were at our mediocre plain-jane look. It was raining people.. Girls at their best attires and good looking guys eyeing on the hot chickas and babes probably for .. erm..one nite stand maybe.. We had ONE important mission to accomplish. EAT, EAT, and EAT.. we were bloody starving and managed to get seats after 15 mins eyeing around. The 2 selekeh girls ordered food like no one's business. There was a band there and it was bloody noisy plus the people blowing whistles and playing confettis. We couldn't care less about it.. when it came to a point where this one typical lass accidentally sprayed a pink colored confettis to my friend's face!! Poor lisa, she was enjoying her last piece of fungi pizza. I can still remember her facial expression.. it was damn hillarious but i didn't wanna laugh at that time, and it could make things worse.. What a bummer!!! Thats it boys and girls.. we walked away with pride and it was couple of minutes before the countdown starts. Managed to see nice fireworks from the federal highway when it striked 12! We celebrated new year in the car and continued our 'so-called party' at home..

The "Ex" Factor

Here I am.. in the office. In my contemplative moment thinking about 1 small issue. A call from a friend made me sit down in front of my pc with no input for 30 mins.. (erm.. maybe more..) well, I’m not sad.. nor being melancholic over her story about ‘something’.. but I’m haunted with confusions.. and curiousity! Well, how do you cope when 2 of your exs are getting married very soon? Well, to tell the truth I have nothing against it at all. Strange or not, but I don’t feel sad.. envy or hatred over it. Why should i..? but I just don’t understand y they don’t invite their exs to their wedding. They should be happy that they actually tying a knot with someone they love.. they should be proud of it. Well, I would invite my ex to my wedding of course for the fact that I still treat them as my friends.. same as my other friends.. and secondly, I am happy that I’m marrying the one I love.. moving on my life to another stage. So, I do not see any reason y this thing should happen. To whom it may concern.. I’m just far-hearted of what he did.. and to all the exs in the world.. there is no harm in inviting your exs to your wedding because she/he just doesn’t care.. its you either can’t bare to remember the memories back then when u were together before on the bridal dais or you might afraid your ex will ruin your wedding by going berserk or flip the bird at your wedding..hahah (hell no that’s not going to happen to me) or maybe your bride is over obsessed with you and restrict you from inviting your ex to your wedding. Seriously, I think if u forgive and forget the past.. you should be able to think which is right and which is wrong. However, Miss Nice Girl here is wishing ‘si polan’ Selamat Pengantin Baru.. and a never ending joyride with your loved ones.. Here’s a simple poem to whom it may concern..

“Though I can’t be there to witness the divine moment(due to not getting the invitation or the postman lost my address), As you tie the knot.. I’m sending you all my wishes, For this special bond.. That will hold two hearts to beat as one.. .. from this moment on.. Congratulations! May your wedding day be.. A new beginning to a never ending happiness! Amin… that’s my pray for you."

Canopy walkway, anyone?

Jungle trekking and a canopy walk.. I have to say.. malaysia's rainforests are not bad at all!! it was spectacular.. an activity u should try.. By the way, shots were taken at FRIM. Click on photos for larger and more photos!

I love her.. but we ain't dykes!!

*Disclaimer: I am straight and nothing but 100% straight. The message in the illustration is trying to portray the value of friendship.

I'm sure guys do treasure friendship in their own way, holding hands, spending an evening together at the park is a No-No for 'em.. How do you guys go about best-buddies? anyway, isn't it good to have someone that you can share feel good times and the crying moments together? How i wished she was a guy or a male version of her appears in my life because soulmates are hard to find.. I love you girlfriend..(no..i'm not a dyke!) i'm glad we're bestfriends! Nothing beats having sushi with you at the park.. I'm so glad we 'd be able to share, learn and experience life together..