I didn't mean to be mean..

I was on my way back from lunch and saw 2 malay guys holding books interrupting road passers. I know this associations very well. Used to see lot of this scenes at klcc subways, uptown hawkers, shopping complex... list goes on. Its everywhere. What i normally do is ignore, or acting i was busy talking to the phone or simply do not make any slight eye contact with them. It usually worked! This time, the phone was in my bag.. its too late to take it out and use the same old method.. and its too obvious to turn back and make a detour. I know i had to use the route and intercept them. I can see at glance that the bird is eyeing for its victim. I dare not make any eye contact as it would definitely trigger a warm gesture of welcoming.. or giving a sign of "come to me.. i have thousand ringgits to give away.." He approached me and hand one of the book to me.. i shook my head showing resistance in a most polite way and try to walk away. Ouh I'm bad in turning people down. I am the sympathetical type. But in this case, i know i had to. He stopped me however by saying.. :

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The Man : Kak, ambik ni kita bagi free je.. Bukan suruh bayar.. Kita sedekah kepada public.

I paused and turned back in guilt. Maybe its another way of dakwah. I wonder. I took the book.
Me : Oh yeke? Terima Kasih. *sincere smile*
I continued walking..

The Man : Takkan ambik je.. sedekahlah sikit kak.. *cynical smile*
His friend was looking and waiting with antsy. They definitely got me and left me in guilty conscious. What the..? (marah..marah..). Kalau nak suruh derma cakapla siang-siang.. ni kias kias..selindung-selindung plak. ni kira kes tipu nih!

Me : Tadi kata bagi free saya ambikla.. Lagi pun saya takde duit kecik.
I know the line sounds cliche' but the smallest note i have was RM50. And I'm not a sucker for free stuffs. I took it for the sake of humanity and don't want to be labeled as snobish or ignorant. But its pretty obvious he's trying to set me up by handing and insisting me on taking the book. Once i took it he started his strategy. I know its all strategy!

The Man : Takde duit kecik takpe.. saya ada tukar.. baper nak? $100?? $200?? *cynically*

OMG he is totally getting on my nerves. I returned the book nicely.
Me : Mintak maafla bang, saya takde duit. Lain kali ye.

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Did it make me a mean person? I know there are a lot of people who's more generous than me out there and willing to donate anytime, anywhere. And I know there are also a lot of cheaters out there pretend to be a delegation for some welfare affiliations. And i know not everyone on earth are as lucky as some of us. But i don't like the idea and the way they try to gain money from public by saying its free and indirectly forcing you to donate. He's trying to reversed psychology people by instilling guilts.. It didn't work this time! Been there, done that zillion times! To me, if i want to donate, I will personally go to the right chanel and make good deeds like what i used to do for the tsunami aid victims. And GOD knows whether this type of donations valids and go to the right party! Wallahuallam.. I walked away.. and i can hear they were cursing about me. I didn't bother to know.


-kalau nak menderma, biarlah ikhlas.. kalau ada rasa was-was & syak dah jadi tak ikhlas dan boleh cenderung kepada haram.