Pulau Pinang here i come!

This was so much fun! Fazlin & Adzim.. checkout their interesting story here. And more photos of this couple's solemnization here.

just because..

just because i work at home, doesn't mean i'm having leisure time..
just because i'm doing my own business, doesn't mean i have lots of cash..
just because i'm quiet, doesn't mean i'm being ignorant..
just because i talk little, doesn't mean i'm anti social..
just because i don't clarify, doesn't mean i'm guilty or wronged..
just because i choose to silent, doesn't mean i have no feelings..
just because i don't fight back, doesn't mean you or your friends can judge me as you wish..
just because i choose to be doubtful, doesn't mean i don't trust you.

work my ass.

I was advised to do more hillwork in my running regime although he knows i curse without fail when it comes to one. For a more good looking legs and buttocks.. thats the trick! So, i took the challenge. The first time when i did the hillwork at Bukit Kiara Park.. I was like.. what the...???!! Damn i think the stretch is longer and steeper than the famous double hill nearby Lake Garden. My heartbeat was jumping hard it al felt like bursting. I ended up walking all the way up.

I wasn't feeling well today. I had temperature this morning as i went to the clinic this morning the doc said i had fever. I really wanted to push my body and see if my body can fight the virus naturally.. by running. Some says its stupid and you should not run during fever.. but i'm gonna have to try anyway, well if i couldn't run, i'll walk.

So we went to the same hill again. The moment i reached Bukit Kiara Park, it started to rain. bummer. We decided to wait for a bit hoping the rain would stop. I can see other joggers with umbrella walking and some decided to wait in the car.. The rain didn't totally stop, it drizzled so we decided to just give it a go. half way up, the rain started to pour again.. harder. We kept on running. There were no other runners just some folks walking with umbrella giving us strange look. They must have thought we are 2 insane people running under the rain on a hill.. not a good idea? hell it actually feels great! i watched my step carefully.. the path was slippery but i keep myself in focus and keep my breathing right. We finished a nice 5km and hey.. we are so going again tomorrow!

my bums sore!

heroic cat.

i was thrilled to find out there's a cat sleeping erm.. taking a nap on a tyre underneath a car in front of kedai mamak i had my cheese naan after my run in ttdi. Presenting.. the heroic cat a.k.a kucing berani mati!!!

midnight drift.

Life is too mundane. I need a lil drama in life.. not too much.

Life has been SUPER MEGA busy. I miss blogging, i miss running, i miss swimming while other people is busy working in the office.

My Running journal!

An evenin with lil lazy doped kitty!

lolly.. the only thing you know is eat, sleep, eat and sleep. She's totally doped when i shot this. No matter how i tried to turn her body around and pull her whiskers she still sleeps like no one's business! Ouh lazy cat!!

My first 10k!! - SUNDOWN MARATHON!

We drove to Singapore in Kash's mpv with her kids and maid. Its been too long for me to remember the last time i went to singapore using the land route. We departed at 8.30pm and estimated to reach singapore at 12++. I slept almost the whole journey but i can still listen to all the conversation in the car. Tido2 ayam la kot. Kash was fresh enough to drive the whole journey. Lucky the co-pilot was awake too to talk and accompany her. We reached at her resident in Clementi Avenue around 1.30am. We could've been arrived earlier but documents and passport verification at the immigration took longer than usual. Security is pretty strict as compared to the last time i came here. Kash and Rais were kind enough to allow us to stay at her crib. They have nice spacious double storey apartment. Well designed yet simple.

The next morning we had a nice 5km run around the neighborhood. There's a nice canal walk underneath a bridge for joggers. Tested my new running tights.. it felt good so far. We went home for breakfast, freshen up and getting ready for the day.. Window shopping at peninsula plaza.. ogling and drool over some lenses and camera stuffs, rashid went to Feder Sports to eye some sports stuffs. Good price.. Too bad we did not plan to come to singapore to shop but i guess i'll definitely come back to get some cool sport stuffs here. Shoes are definitely cheaper here. Not all models are available in KL. From Peninsula Plaza we commute to Novena Square to see whats there at Velocity. Its a mall of sports and adventure equipments i might say..

We came back around 4pm and rest for a bit while watching some dvd before tonight's marathon. We were a bit tired and got carried away till we realised it was already 7pm! 1 and a half hour to race. Things got a lil messy and hay wired. We left the house at 7.30pm. we literally running to the mrt station. 1 hour to go.. Rashid bought a wrong ticket. We were supposed to alight at Pasiris station and take a shuttle bus to Changi point. Instead he bought to Tanah Merah. We alight at Tanah Merah station and decided to turn back and buy a ticket to Pasiris till we saw 2 girls in sundown marathon vest. We decided to ask them for confirmation and they were actually bought wrong tickets too. Four of us decided to share one cab and get to changi point. Its already 8pm. Half an hour to go , we argued with the cabby on routes as he wasn't sure where to drop us. Neither do we. I was nervous, antsy at the same time. Took out my powerbar and grab a bite. Haven't been eating and drinking sufficiently since last night. I better leave them arguing as i'm in no position to direct them on directions. We finally reached the starting point with the help of runners.. the ultra marathoners started the race earlier.. so we followed their trails. 8.25pm.. 5 mins before the race.. i need to pee badly. Hahah.. damn. Jumped over the fence, rushed to the toilet and ahhhh.. From the toilet i heard the emcee counting down the race.. in 8,7,6,5.. I ran out and jumped over the fence.. 4,3,2... reached the starting point just on time for the race.. we walked in grace.. the crowd was massive..... 1... breeep! the race starts and i began to feel the rush of adrenaline.. excited at the same time.. I was glad i peed.

I kept my pace slow.. consistently running. The weather was good. The night was breezy but the large crowd made me grasping for air. I increased my speed, overtook some runners just to get some space to breathe. It felt good all through 5km. Some runners began to walk.. but i keep on running. My throat felt so dry. where's the god damn water station? I thought it was supposed to be at 5km point? 2 km passed by.. the water station was actually at the 7th km. I was so thirsty. After i quenched my thirst i kept on running for the next 3km.. The path was a bit narrow and it was a bit bottle neck at some point. 1 hour passed and i have 1km to go.. keep my breathing slow.. gosh, the closer it gets to the finishing point the longer it seems to end. Rashid gave me words of motivation.. "just a lil bit more.. come on you can do it!" My knee started to weakened but i kept on running.. 500m, 400m, 300m.. i get slower.. mental siot! 200m.. the crowd was cheering to the finishing line.. 100m... my knee wobble. That was the longest 100m for me.. i pushed it and I MADE IT! i made it in 1hr 8mins.. the feeling was good. i bet it even hundred times better if doing the full marathon.. but i deserve to feel good even though its just a 10km run. I managed to run all through 10km without stopping. And to finish.. That matters! I finished my first 10km race. I just started running a month ago and regardless my knee injuries i had years back.. and not forgetting i stopped running since secondary school and never ran eversince.. I'm proud of myself for being able to do this.. i do. But 1 thing i missed was to capture the scene. I did not bring my dslr and not even any recording devices. I don't have any memories of me running to bring back. Just these two tired shots as we got home and rest our bum..

oh by the way, for the record.. had minor chafing on my ass.. next time i should consider undies or vaseline under my tights.

Sundown Marathon here i come!!

approximately 24 hours to go..

Adidas Warehouse Sales!

As early as 9.30am we were already qeueing outside atria mall in PJ. I don’t remember the last time i went to any warehouse sales. I’ve never been to adidas warehouse sales or any sports warehouse sales. I used to opt for perfume, lingery or branded item sales but this time around i really need some sports activity attire.. erm in a mark down price tags!

Crowd was massive and growing each minutes. Aren’t they supposed to be at work at this hour??? I bet hundreds of lame excuses comes out this morning to their bosses.. and maybe MCs too. As the mall’s shutter opens at 10am, men and women embushed and chase themselves to the warehouse area. Gosh! buruk betul perangai.. we just walked in grace tanakla tunjuk gelojoh sangat!

We were released into the sales area batch by batch. The security was quite strict. I saw some familiar faces among adidas sales people. Hey i used to photoshoot them before for an adidas event! Ok, back to the sales.. items were piled based on sizes. Well, they will all be messed and jumbled up in less than an hour! Since we were among the first batch to come in, the items were still in order. In less than 30mins my XL plastic was full with tops, bags, caps and tights. Thats the way.. grab first, decide later!

I’ve got myself a nice techfit running tights and 3 vests for running, a nice stella mccartney blouse collection, arm pouch for my ipod, sling bag, cap and a hat. Everything for RM220.Thats after unloading 3/4 of the things i grabbed earlier. I intended to buy only the things i need. It was a good purchase!! The techfit tight itself costs more than RM200 at normal price. Me happy bunny! Adidas warehouse sale was really worth our energy and time!

Can't wait to test my tights at the singapore sundown marathon!!

A nice 8km run.

I was supposed to shoot our PM launching the FELDA rally this morning. That means i had to wake up super early to make sure i reached Dewan Felda before Najib arrives. Unfortunately the shooting was canceled at a very last minute. Bummer no pocket money for me.. but yay! i can sleep in again today. However, regardless no early morning shoot, the weather this morning is too good to waste. 7.30am i was getting ready to have my morning run. Since i only manage to push for less that 3km yesterday (my body felt so weak yesterday, the sweat taste weird and my ankle still hurt), i decided to run more today..

The moment i reached my run spot, lots of cars filling the parking area. The space was almost full, but most are apeks and nyonyas enjoying the morning breeze walking. Most of 'em were familiar faces. Greeted each other and exchanging smiles among new faces. I didn't see any solo runners besides myself. I am used to running alone. What i need is my ipod and good music.. Most friends are working at that hour.. But i don't mind, seriously. Running is my self-therapy.. I don't have enough stamina to run and talk at the same time anyway. I'll be a passive listener when i am running with a talkative runner! lol.

I ran slowly at a constant speed.. as time passed by, people became lesser and lesser. Maybe went back to continue their routine life. A group of veteran men went back to their wives, the young one went to their offices.. all with different lifestyle and routines.

On the other hand, i myself continued my run. Knowing that i have nothing to look forward to at home and to go back this soon and waste the beautiful morning.. I'd rather stay a lil longer and continue running. After a while, i didn't see anymore joggers except for lawn mower,lake maintenance people and some fishing addicts. The same indonesian lady i see everyday sweeping dried leaves.. and the same middle-aged male foreign worker trimming trees and shrubs. Wow, it takes stamina too to maintain the lake area.

I enjoyed the view of the scenic lake, the smell of fresh grasses being mowed, the sound of bird chirping, the same lil buddy crossing in front of me at the very same spot - the baby alligator that freaked me out the first time we bumped into each other. Now, i'll be like.. "hey lil buddy!". The smell of fallen frangipani along the path of the track was strong.. even stronger at night. I never dared to walk there at night again after creepy rumors from one of the runners some time back. "Tempat ni keras sikit.. dulu ada org penah kena bunuh kat sini.." (this place is haunted. someone was murdered here before). The story got my neck hair stood still and hell it was eerie! During day time, i'm okay with it. Like now.. i'm enjoying every moment of it. My ankle is fine today.. no more blisters on my right toes.. the injinji socks helped a lot except for the one on the left. It was torn and one of my toe keeps rubbing against the inner shoes. I am going to buy one toe socks.. but injinji seems to be overprice! $50 for a pair! I'll get one from sox world for less than $20.

I am reaching 8km and decided to complete that loop and go back. I guess its a good achievement for me. From 3km - 5km - 6km - 8km. All within less than a month. I am pretty happy that i am able to gradually increase my distance. Not drastically! I don't think i can increase my speed for now. What matters to me is endurance and to be able to maintain a constant speed. Good enough.

My running top is soaking wet. Its time to go back, freshen up and recharge.

new look!

white or black.. I am still me..

(i actually screwed my old template! darn!)

Pacesetters' Putrajaya Night Run

I would call it a fun run or mingle run. We reached putrajaya almost 8.30pm and most runners had already registered. Some were warming up. Some were already dripping sweat. Wah.. didn't look like a fun run to me. They are serious runners and familiar faces among pacesetters members. There were kids too, so it shouldn't be that hard. Frankly, I was a bit nervous. Haha! Its not that its my first time running. I've been doing 6km everyday alone or with a friend but this would be my first run with a bib! Whats the difference? Whats the big deal? I can't tell.. really. Maybe its just my first time before i prepare myself with more serious run events in the future!

The registration fee was quite cheap, so what the heck! For a $5 registration fee and you get a goodie bag worths over $50, why not?! The food and refreshments was good too. Lots of kuihs. A friend asked if i want to do 5km or 10km. I'd go for 5km fun run with the kids... hahaha.. chicken out, huh? I asked him couple times.. "You tak seganke buat 5km?" Yeah for an ironman and for someone who has done full marathons.. 5km would be just a warm up. But he didn't mind at all. Actually i wanted to proceed with 10km but i don't trust my ankle. It was slightly injured during my evening run the day before, so i didn't want to push it too hard. I can hear clicking sound on my right ankle each time i thump my feet.

goodie bag!

The run began at 8.30 and I ran and ran slowly.. passed by few runners. There was a group of runners who didn't stop talking from the beginning of the run till i don't remember when. They were cracking jokes and laughing all the way. Wow, they must have lots of stamina to do that! That makes the run more fun! The night was clear and calm even though we thought it was going to rain in Putrajaya. It rained in KL all the way.

Regardless my aching feet, i tried to run all through 5km. No walk. I was holding my pee at the same time. I wanted to pee badly. I made it. Reached the finishing in 33mins and ambushed the loo to answer some nature calls. Not a good timing but i wasn't aiming high. I'm a slow runner. I know that. But i enjoyed every bit of it.

A friend refreshed my mind by quoting my phrase months back before i started running. I used to say this to him.."I can never run 1km.. not even 100m without grasping for air!". I smirked. He said.. "Look now, you can run 5km non-stop!" I laughed.. and i'm proud of myself.. i want to run more. I'll do 10km next time. I think its doable for me.

a great morning starts with a great workout.

Its been ages since i did run+swim. I haven't been swimming for weeks now. Since i own the nike ipod, i got addicted to running and keeping records of my mileage. I've been running for almost everyday eversince. Not too distance, just an easy 5km per day to keep my skin pink and to release some toxin. The clock was 8.15am when i woke up this morning. On every other day, 8am is considered quite late to start a morning run. I was a bit frustrated i didn't wake up earlier. I looked out the window hoping the sun won't show up yet, i heard birds chirping and the color of the sky looked grey and calm after the rain. It was a nice breezy morning. Brushed my teeth and put on my running attire and quickly head out to the lake before it gets hot.

There were few cars parking at the lake. Some went to fish and some veterans just enjoy the morning walk. Spoke to one indian yogiman (i call him that because he always does yoga after his massive runs. Man he can actually run, fast.) He asked me in his indian dialects.. "you.. run marathon?" i just gave him a smile. what? me a marathoner?? am a noob la. I said "no la, i just run for fun.. to relax". He replied "Oh same! good.. good.." That was the longest conversation we had so far. We used to rub shoulders couple times during our run but never spoke to each other. Just rasing eyebrows, waiving hands and smile. He left and i began my routine.

Started with a 1.2km of brisk walking. Passed by some pakciks and apeks. All veterans.. no youngsters. Those younger peeps are busy in their formal attires in the office by this hour. I was thinking, i hope i will still run when i turn gold. Leading healthy life with soulmate and friends. Thinking bubbles leads to another, and brought me to my second km. I did a slow 2km (to be exact 2.4km) run non-stop which equivalent to 2 loops of the lake. Proceed with walking on the 4th loop while catching up my breath. sigh. i wish i could go more running non-stop. Sweat was dripping non stop, heart was jumping. I continued my final loop(the 5th one) running again..slow and easy. Total workout this morning approaching 6km. I stopped at a nice spot under a big tree for yoga. Its a good routine to warm down and to reduce musce sore especially on the hamstrings and shins. Sweat started to drop more and even more. My running top was soaking wet. My throat felt very dry. I don't remember having a drop of fluid before running. After few routines of tunggang tertonggeng + squating i head to my car and had a large bottle of water at a single go. Dahaga beb!

Saw my swimming suit at the car seat behind. It'd be a good idea to swim as well. Just to relax my calf and to have a nice dip in. I detoured to the public pool and the bloke at the guard house approached me, "I didn't see you for some time.. where have you been?". I smiled and just reply.."outstationla" malas nak citer panjang. Wah everyone seemed to start making conversations with me today.. sometimes dissapearing makes heart go fonder.. in a way.. it is.

Changed my suit and jumped into the pool. The water was a bit chilly. But my body was already being warmed up with a 6km run before so it should be fine. Someone told me it feels good to swim after running. I argued at that time. Don't you feel tired after running that the only thing you can think of is your bed?? But after trying it, I have to agree with that. It actually felt great. I had a slow and relaxing breaststrokes. After 500m of swimming, people (again veterans) started to fill the pool. I feel content today. The feeling is great. I feel fresh. It was a nice morning of relaxing workouts.

The shower facilities at the pool is superb. The moment i turned the shower i can feel the high pressure of water rubbing my back. It feels like standing under a waterfall. The shower head is large enough to cover the whole body without effort of moving back and front. Seriously i don't mind paying $2 everyday to shower in a nice volume of water like this as compared to my home bathroom. Macam kedekut air je.

I love today. I head home smiling feeling so positive and forget about all the problems i have at home. The amount of endorphin today is sufficient enough to keep me happy the whole day. Shall i run again this evening? hmm...

What's up with lolly?

Its been a while since i updated anything about lolly. She was sick a week ago. I blogged about her here. It had been hard for us taking care a sick cat. I shall rephrase that. Not just a normal cat but a super fussy kitty. She refused to cooperate during medication time. And she even refused to eat. It takes two person to feed or give her the medicines. It ain't an easy task to do. Mom had to hold her still and i, cum the in house non-certified veterinar had to feed her the medicine. Don't ask how but we did everything we could to just thrust the pills and food into her throat. It may look violent but i had to do what i had to do. i was a bit worried that she had not been eating anything for 3 days. The doctor recommended me the "Hills Science Diet Plan" canned food. It is tasty, suitable for indoor long fur kitty and super fussy ones. And one small can (1 day consumption) costs $7.50! Damn thats expensive. But anything for her now. As long as she's eating i don't mind spending more on her meal than mine! She needs the nutrients for fast recovery and not to mention she is so damn light now. If its not the fur she'll be one anorexic kitty! Regardless that expensive treats i got her, she still refuses to eat. Again, I had to thrust 'em down to her throat then she began to swallow bit by bit. Toldcha its tasty, lolly!!!
That was then when i had an extra hand. The process got harder when mom had to travel to hometown for a week. That means, nursing totally depends on me alone! Ouh I forgot to mention about the wound. Feeding medication was one thing, dressings on the open wound was another disaster. The first day, the bandage managed to stay for a day as she was still weak to move too much due to the anasthetic. She looked funny yet pitiful with the bandage wrapping half of her face. The doc gave me a handful of medications, ointment and creams for the wounds. That means I have to handle her dressings on my own. The doc suggested me to leash her neck with Elizabethan Collar to avoid her scratching the wounds. I tried before when she was neutered years back but this breed is naughty and they are intelligent cats. In less than an hour she managed to escape herself from the E Collar better than the way David Copperfield escape himself from a glass tube. The 2nd day, i attempted on putting on dressings on her wound with mom's help. It looked like we strangle her but again we were having trouble putting on the bandage around her neck. It looked messy and the bandage didn't actually cover the wound properly and i know she wasn't feeling comfortable with it. In less than an hour, she managed to escape herself from it. I gave up. Called up the same doctor and we decided to let the profesional do it. So i send her to the clinic everyday to do her dressing for approx $10 a day per dressing. This is ridiculous! After 4 days, she began to rebel and refuses any dressings. So why bother paying $10 for a bandage that only last less than half an hour. I stop sending her to the vet anymore, plus i don't really like the doc myself. Mom is still back in hometown. I have to figure a way how to feed her medicine. She refuses to eat dry food. So, instead of paying $10 for her dressings, i spend on good canned nutritional food. The meds? I mash them into powder and mix it with her food. It may look like i'm drugging her but thats just the only way left. Bought a bottle of gamat drink and feed her using a syringe. Sounds like a serious nursing, huh? I really want to get her fully recovered soon.


Its been a week and the wound is drying. The wound radius gets smaller and she begins to eat like normal. It feels good to being able to see her eating again. But i still qurantine her at the backyard. She's still dirty, messy and stinky but i can't bathe her now till the wound really dries up and recovered. Obviously i don't want her to mix with other cats and get into another fight no more. Backyard is the best place for her now. She can sleep, and play behind pots and bushes, eat and drink by the fountain. She hated it but its better than a cage.

She'll get used to it.

Ouh did i mention that the doc shaved half of her face and it made her look like a freak cat! No more whiskers. I heard cats lose their sense of directions when the whiskers get removed. So backyard it is! You ain't going anywhere untill i see whiskers growing!

running fever.

So i did my run this evening. The watch shows 6 but the sky was still striking bright as if it was 3. I decided to wait a lil more hoping it'll be less sunny. The whole effect of global warming wears me out easily. I hate running in hot sunny day. I just can't. My body can't tolerate with it.

Started my 1st loop at 6.30. Still too bright. I was looking down with my cap on half way through the loop. It was more like a brisk walk just to get my body warmed up. 1 week of not running, my hamstrings surely need a good stretch before i start being a nagging bitch again complaining on muscle sores.

I started to run on my 2nd loop. Had a good pace.. breathing was good. No coughing nor sneezing. Same goes on my 3rd loop. 3/4 of the 3rd loop still doing fine and steady. Going to loop 4, i started coughing. Breathing became harder. Me heart was jumping and felt like bursting. I slowed down, but still maintain running. A friend passed by and said i looked so pale. My lips looked as white as my skin. Not a good sign. I almost faint for not having enough oxygen in my blood. We sat down for a bit. It wasn't a good idea to stop and sit. It felt even worse so I decided to continue walking. I took a deep long breath and walk the rest of the loop and made another to complete my 5km for the day.

I set the target and i met it. I didn't expect too much today but to be able to run approx 3k and 2k of walking is good enough for me. for a sick person. for a sick stubborn one. like me.

later at night i feel a bit better. perhaps because of the run. No muscle sore, so far.

New addiction. I need it!

I haven't been running for a week. I miss running. I miss the pain on my shins while thumping on my soles. I miss complaining how tiring it is doing the loops. I miss catching my breath and slowing down my heart rate while running. Sometimes your heart is pumping and jumping so hard it feels like bursting and that point of time you slow down and take baby steps and tune back the rythm. Some people say running is a torture. Why? because running is tiring and makes you sweat like a pig. True. I couldn't agree more. Then why run? The feeling of post-running effect is satisfying. To feel every drop of your sweat on your forehead and the pain you bring back after running is indescribable. Then comes a new you. You'll feel better and you want to do it again. Running is my new addiction. Blame to whoever has dragged me into this.

Breathing is hard since my flu doesn't seem to go away. Its been a week now. There's too much going on this week. Being sick does not mean i have to be in bed all day long. I am going to run this evening. Or if i can't run, i'll walk. Just to get rid off some toxic in my brain.

poor lolly!

Something weird happened to lolly. I wasn't at home to spend enough time to play with her for the past few days. Sis and brother in law just moved to a new house. We were busy shifting stuffs, packing and unpacking. I gave lolly less attention lately. She started to sleep outside and came back next morning.

One morning, i sensed a weird smell on her and she looked wet. Ahh, it must be the nights out she spent these few days.. I thought she really needed a bath but i was pretty hectic with my work. I didn't pay much attention to it. I shoo'd her away as she loves sitting on my desk while i'm doing my work. Lolly, u stinky pussy cat.. go away. She left with a sad look. I was busy back then and promised to bathe her once my work is done. Later in the evening, i carried her and decided to bathe her and i got really startled seeing a big round patch of blood on her left cheek. I held her and a large patch of fur came off. Damn! That explains the weird smell. I took dettol to clean her but the thick dried blood was hard to be removed. I wiped with a cotton and another patch of fur came out. I was freaked out! and i didn't dare to check further. I took her cage and and decided to bring her to the vet. Poor lolly. I am sorry darling i ignored you. I am sorry i shoo'd you away when you were trying to tell me that you were sick. Oh poor baby! The wound was huge and it already late. The vet was closing and the veterinar suggested i left her overnight.

The next day, she undergone a minor surgery. The doctor couldn't explain the cause. Maybe it was a catfight. Maybe it was an infection. But it didn't happen in a day or two. How didn't i notice any lump nor scratches on her?? Well, she acted weird lately by choosing a place like inside the toilet or behind the shaded bush to sleep. And she usually show up each time i call her name, but recently she seemed to ignore my call. Cats start acting like this when something is wrong with them. But didn't i get enough sign to discover her unwell conditon? i was too busy. damn!

The medical fee cost me $250!! anything for you lolly. The doc removed the rotten patch from her cheek and there's no skin for stitching so it was left as an open wound. The doc gave a set of medication for her for 10 days. And the best thing is i have to do her dressing on the wound everyday. Gosh! Looking at the wound itself enough to almost make me pass out at the vet. To attend to it everyday.. Oh god pls give me enough strength. I feel so helpless looking at lolly's weak condition. Not to mention the fresh red wound that looks so painful! She was still under anasthetic with a big gauze covering partial of her face. She looks motionless being held up by the doc's helper who looked like a butcher to me! Aww! She looks pretty bad.


My dear lolly, pls be strong.. seeing you like this makes my knee so weak. You appear in my nightmares every night. I am sorry i cared you less these past few weeks..

More on lolly's condition will be updated.

knocked out!

I am cruel. What happened to me? I'm be coming ignorant each day. I don't remember when was the last time i watered it *sigh*

Work has not been as productive as last year. I don't know where and how it went wrong. I need to get back in track. However, no one has complained about my reputation yet. Clients still love my work. I delivered the same quality sometimes better than what they expected. But I seem to take more time to accomplish each task. Am I becoming more fussy? If its for better i really don't mind. I'm just afraid of losing competency and efficiency. As I said, I need to get back on track and manage my time well.

Health has not been on my side. Its been a week now but the fever doesn't seem to get better. I finished the antibiotics but the cough is still strong with green phlegm. erkh! i hate being sick (who doesn't). Having days without physical activities makes me hate looking at this pale zombie like in a mirror. I miss running, swimming or yoga. But those make my breathing harder for the time being. A friend got me a nike ipod and i was so excited to give it a try. I went jogging with it for the first time at damansara perdana. Managed to do only less than 5km and i was already grasping for air. Sweat tastes weird. The exhaustion was too great for just a 5km run. What happened to me? What happened to my stamina? The area was a bit polluted with dust and debris from constructions. Not a good place to run. Approximately 5km and we decided to head to the pool to cool off. I did some swim just to relax and enjoy the sunset. My head feels lighter, the view was awesome but the silent virus in my body started to strike. Thats how the fever turned worse. Maybe swimming is a no-no now. The influenza virus is everywhere..

I was bonked in bed for days. The next day, i slept for 12 hours. The drugs from my flu pill and cough syrup were the cause. Come to think of it, atleast i had decent sleep. The last time i had a good decent rest? I don't remember. But this time.. Too decent perhaps? Hope i will get better really soon. I miss thumping on my new shoes.

my new gadget!

nike ipod. a cool gadget that records a distance and pace of walk or run. How does it work? A receiver plugged into my ipod and an accelerometer attached to or embedded in my shoe. Walla! Synced to your itunes and it will automatically display my running record on my nike widget. Cool isn't it? wuhuuu!! yippie!!! I am super excited today!! Can't wait to record my first run!

no title.

If you are about to update life.. its gonna be a never ending story. Especially when the internet is not helping. Streamyx line is pretty bad lately. Been singing TM a cursing song over and over again. And the worse thing is the customer service helpline never answer my call! darn! I can't check my email, can't reply my client's, can't upload any pics to my blog. Being unproductive is best to describe my mundane day.

Phew, have not been writing for decades besides uploading client's works and portfolios to my work blog. I miss those 'i have zits and it effect my mood' or 'i saw a gay holding hands in a mall' kinda blog... you can say, a no biggy tales to shout about. Oh erm, writing needs a quality moment between your body, brain and emotion. And that is a lot for me to dedicate now. I miss those moment where i can sit half a day on my chair in front of my mac blogging about life. Its not that i don't have anything to write, but i reckon the more things happening in your life, the lesser time you have to blog about it.

I am pretty much occupying my time with activities that benefits me more in terms of my body and health department. And in order to do that, it takes a lot of sacrifice, time management and not forgetting letting go some things i loved doing.. like blog for no reasons.. and eat like no ones business. Well, ok i still eat and its still the best thing to do but i choose what i eat. Remember, you are what you eat!

I always hated running. But now, i can say running is addictive and it can become an obsession. I don't want it to reach to that extent. I don't have anyone to prove but i love how my body reacts to running. I have only one goal.. to live healthy. Running turns you into a positive mind. I still do my yoga at home and swim once in a while.. and i'd love to climb back. Next thing to do.. is to recce for a kick boxing class! Gosh i have lots of things in mind which i'd love to do.. but i only have 24hours a day and 7 days a week and i still hardly have time to clip my nails!

i'm off for a run peeps! if we happen to rub shoulders at tasik subang near sjmc, do HI me!

..retail therapy?

I'm bored.

Went out with mom to get some groceries. I was at the cosmetic department eyeing for a compact powder. Have not been a complete lady these past months. Have not been taking care of my skin, hair and beauty for ages. Have not put makeup for some time. Only lipstick just to hint people that i'm still a lady. hehehe. Have stopped buying girly magz for years (the only time i manage to read girly magz is when waiting at the dental clinic for my appointment). How bad is that?

Mom had to go back early so i decided to send mom home and allow myself to wander around at the mall longer. I need... a therapy. a retail therapy. I told myself.. just go get yourself a compact powder and go home. period.

After half an hour, manage to get myself a compact powder. I was supposed to go back but end up detour myself to 'crocs'. I don't need a shoe at the mo. But does that rule apply to girls? Do they only buy shoes when they need one? women and shoes. They can never have enough.

I am not a HUGE fan of crocs but i'd go for its comfyness. 7 is my size. I tried one with size 7. Heck its a bit lose for me, so i asked size 6. Damn its too tight. They don't carry half sizes. So thats the end of the story with me and crocs.

But shoe story didn't just end there. I ended getting myself a pair green adidas ballet collection. Green is not really my color, but pink is out of stock. But somehow it feels comfortable and i vote for comfyness!!

Yuna EP!!

A package made me smile this morning. I just got back from a swim and saw something jolting out from the damp mailbox (it rained last night). My Yuna EP i ordered from her myspace arrives earlier than i thought.

I have to say i love all 5 songs in it.. 'Backpacking around europe' is one of my favourite. Get one, listen to it full blast, listen to her voice and you'll love it! Gosh i can listen to it over and over again..

i'm a happy bunny!

check her out here.

tribute to the stars and the sun.

i looked out the window and gazed upon the dark sky. The stars were countless last night.

i glanced to the window and watched the ray of light coming through the window. The sun feels warmer than any other morning..

To the stars and the sun, thanks for being there with me.

the moment i get hyperkinesia.

ok, i feel like jumping on a trampoline and scream my heart out and just being silly for a mo. I think my eyeballs just cramped due to sitting more than 10 hours staring at the screen. At this point of time, put a donkey with a shocking-pink lipgloss and a fuchsia wig, she still looks gorgeous to me. Alright, don''t you deserve a good rest on a lazy couch with a remote control on your hand and a bucket of ice cream on the other on sunday? Erkh, i don't remember the last time i had that kinda sunday. Image showing me getting hyperkinesia. lol.

I was supposed to shoot a friend for her sport portfolio today.. her in a tight cycling attire and on her expensive bike. I was supposed to shoot her long time back, indeed. Things get really messy on my schedule that i had to push it from time to time. I sold my 18-200VR some time back to get the 17-55 f2.8 nikkor before it was stolen end of last year. damn. I used that lens (18-200 to cover most of my casual sports event. Not good enough to freeze every drop of sweats, but a good focal range to cover athletes in action without having to get too close with the subject. I need to get one tele soon. 70-200VR f2.8 might be a bit over my budget for now but a shutterbug buddy recommended a nikkor 80-200f2.8 which is quite decent for its price. There goes another sinful item on my wish list. Shashinki is selling for RM3750. where can i get a 2nd hand? sigh.

i need to be on my imaginary trampoline now.

The day i become 31!

Thanks for making me feel so young and forget about my first digit. The cupcake isn't as sweet as the sweet gesture! thank you.

the beginning of a healthy life, no?

start a day in a healthy way. that's what the sayings say. Its my birthday and it feels good to start my 31 with a 3km muscle working.

so i did jogging today. A friend wants to see if i can run and says there's a potential in me regardless how hard i tried to convince everyone that i hate running. We went to a shoe shop to eye some running shoes few days back. (Sounds like a very serious runner, huh?) Just to check the type of feet i have and what type of shoes are suitable. The last running shoes i had was a bad reebok i bought during warehouse sale centuries ago that i had to curse every time after i used it. Not to mention blisters! The moment i entered the shop, the shop owner said i definitely have the potential to become a runner looking at my build. Ahh.. don't give a damn thing about it.. but.. really? He put me on one shoe and actually asked me to run and test the shoes outside the shop and i can even tour the shopping mall with it. I was like.. "what..?!! you gotta be kidding me!" and guess what? i did.. except for the run thingy. Managed to have one round of tour and enjoying the comfort of the soles.

Back to jogging. I was actually brisk walking.. and run for a bit.. on and off. I don't remember when was the last time time i had jogged. No idea. Altogether, managed to push my muscles to work for 3km. I don't dare to go further and push until i get a proper shoes. No, i haven't bought any shoes yet. No budget just yet. Borrowed sis' nike and i don't think it was even my size. Lebam. Plus, have to be careful with the knee injuries occured some time back. I definitely need more stamina, but how come swimming don't give thaaat sore. Maybe because i enjoy breast stroking more than thumping my feet.

My shins and thighs are soring! But atleast the muscle is working babeh!

ber'lumut.'

Camera. Mac. Camera. Mac. Camera. Mac. I was contemplating whether to bring my mac or my camera. After weighing my luggage, mood, energy and motivation, i decided to leave my camera behind. I feel so hesitated to follow my parents to Lumut. I don't actually fancy going to weddings, but since its just a short duration i guess why not??! Atleast i can go dipping at the hotel pool. Its not that far anyway... I slept the whole 3 hr journey. The moment i open my eyes.. here i am.. Orient Star, Lumut.

Well, going for a vacation or short getaway with parents at this age is not like 10-15 years ago. I left my parents in the room most of the time. Tried to occupy myself with all the facilities here. I just had a good swim at the hotel pool for an hour. Not much people as its not school holiday or weekend. It was a very relaxing and rejuvenating moment.

Well, i still have my camera phone to capture some scene here.. Not as good as i expected but good enough!

Damn! i left my heels at home! Is it a weird scene to see a girl attending a wedding ceremony in nice kebaya with a selipar jepun???

There is mosquitos all over!! I'm like donating my blood now.. Signing off for now people!

bummer morning.

Bummer. Bummer. Bummer. I made a payment to Vonza (where i ordered my bed set) by cheque about few days ago. When i checked my account 2 days ago, looks like they already cleared it and has been deducted from my account. I exhaled a sigh of relief well, atleast i didn't owe anyone right now. I'm not gonna sleep on an unpaid bed! Its like having bad debt dreams all night.

Yesterday, when i went out shopping with a friend for a bedding sheets and a quilt i hit the ATM with surprise because of the existence sum weird amount of money in my account. "Aku ada sugar daddy ke?" Yay! it must be some client's deposit. Then i withdrew 'em and shopped what i had to shop. I did burst a bit out of my budget.

Last night i slept on a new sheet. The sheets and quilt couldn't wait. The egyptian cotton felt so good on my skin. haha! I remember having a sweet dream last night until a loud jazzy ring burst out my bubble of dreams. The hp was just an inch away from my ears. The bank called mentioning i overdrawn my money. The floating cheque (vonza) which is supposed to clear today was in insufficient fund. Damn! I thought it cleared 2 days ago. They insisted me to top up before 9am! and it was already 8.30 and i'm still in my pyjamas wrapping my body in that soft, cozy warm sheet i bought yesterday using' supposed to be Vonza's money'. bummer.

Moral of the story.. if you find a fat sum amount of figure in your account like out of nowhere, DON'T USE IT.. just yet!

new look.

i have spent ridiculously a lot for my bedroom. New bed, new mattress.. queen out you go. here comes the king, new dressing table, new bed side table and a new wallpaper!! Don't ask me why but no, i'm not getting married in anytime soon. Its merely for self satisfation. My body needs a lil pamper after a hard work and effort. Its all about me. seriously. Choosing the right color is not ea-zay. Then i decided to have combo of mocha+oatmeal+milk color. sounds yummy?! pics on my fesbuk.

New Year Musings.

Damn. Its already 15th jan 2009 and I only managed to blog about resolutions. I never failed to make a list of achievements and goals when its nearly new year be it on paper or just for my personal acknowledgements. 2008 marked lots of milestones in my life. Good, bad, tears, laughter, make ups, breakups, hickups list goes on. Met interesting people and also people i'm not supposed to meet. Met people whom made me laugh and also made me cry. Thats just how world moves. Sometimes you are on top, the next minute you are at the bottom. We are not perfect and thats why we are humans not GOD. The highlight of 2008 was when i was gang robbed. Well i don't want to start on that. I don't have a list for 2009 like i used to in 2007. I have achieved a lot of things and not forgetting enduring the pain of falling. You become stronger each time you stand up and walk again picking up bits and pieces after a great fall.

Here I am.. still picking up bits and pieces developing a stronger version of me. I hope 2009 treats me good.

- No more stupid investment plan.
- No more crying game.

By he way, hope its still not too late to wish y'all a very happy 2009!

when pointing a middle finger is forgiven..

What happened today made me raise my middle finger to everyone the whole day not in a vulgar way. It was supposed to be a good arty farty day. From a photo exhibition at klpac to the Youth'09 event at PWTC. But in between events i was doomed with erm.. finger accident. My middle finger was stucked in between my carboot! Damn! what a lame accident to shout. Well, i wasn't being a cry baby but seriously I thought i lost my middle finger big time. F&#@k! It was not supposed to happen. When i say stucked. It really did stuck big time that the 3rd attempt was still a failure of getting my finger out of it. I pulled it out once harder the 4th time and i didn't feel my hand. The whole hand was numb before blood oozing out from my finger. I was panicked. Fortunately a friend came and brought me to the clinic as i couldn't afford to drive. I hoped the doctor didn't pull out my nails.

Now the tip of my middle finger looks bigger and fatter! I still don't feel my finger when i tap on my middle finger. Guess what?? I can't even right-click the mouse!!!!!!

pic courtesy of a gentleman who drove me to the clinic.

lil business in the dark.

Damn! It must the food i had or the two glasses of teh tarik i had with a good friend just now at kopitiam. I wished i had the loo attached on my neck now that i don't have to walk to the toilet every 10 minutes! And double bummer the bulb in my toilet blew today that i had to pee and settle my unfinished business in the dark. Don't imagine.

I need some charcoal tablet now!

seriously.

sore day.

i had a 10hr photoshoot yesterday. and oh did i mention solo photoshoot? after it ended at 12 midnight last night i told myself that i'm gonna sleep in the next day. And probably a body massage later in the afternoon. (oh i'm so needing it now!). Got home around 1am and i made a practice no matter how tired i can be, i will still have to transfer my photos first before i crash to bed. Ok, it took about an hr for me to freshen up after a whole day of sweat from the photoshoot and to allow 10GB of data to complete. (that's why i hate shooting RAW, but it saves my ass so many times!!!). 2am yay! finally i set myself free from work and sleep. Told myself..."don't wake up till noon! the body needs it!".

zzZZzzzz..
ZZzzzzZZZ..

the next day:

7am i was already wide awake. The body hesitated to rise but my brain forced my eyes wide open and i couldn't sleep no more. That is me. Its 9am, everyone except mom is still rolling in their warm blanket enjoying their sunday but here i am writing a blog and rambling about "how tired i am yet body refused to rest", before i launch my adobe bridge and photoshop CS3 and resume my routine. Am i a geek? or shall i say a cool arty geek? hehheheh.

mom's curry smells good from the kitchen.

have a good sunday, peeps!!!

back in action.

Ok, where do i begin. I guess i just don't know how to blog about personal life anymore. Everything is just about work. After the robbery, I had not been shooting that much. Being cameraless was such a pain! I really hoped i didn't lost my eye for photography.

Got myself new gears and forked out my savings to start all over and pick bits and pieces along the way. One thing i bear in mind, things happen for a reason. Maybe thats a payback for things i did wrong in the past. Well, enough said.

My trip to singapore was an enjoying one. A bit tired as it wasn't totally leisure trip as i was on wedding assignment but it felt good to finally be in singapore again after ages!

Here's some shots from the session.

my DUMB day.

darn! my $200 flew outa my pocket today for something very unnecessary. I've been trying to login to my streamyx account for few months and it failed me every time. I thought it was my router faulty since the adsl light wasn't blinking. I did some tests and diagnose (a skill that i don't have anymore - troubleshooting) but it still fails me. Then i decided to get a new router because the line i used to curi (from one of my generous neighbors which has no WEP) was no longer detectable.. ahh.

I got myself a nice sleek solid black linksys cisco router with built-in antenna. Since i'm not that techy anymore, i did a shortcut by asking the salesman to install the setting to my router (so i can just plug and play when i reach home) gosh, i'm a big fan of 'plug and play'.. then i took it back home and hope high as mountain and EXTRA confident i could see the google logo when i click on my mozilla browser. Bummer!!!!! same problem showed up...

I called streamyx call center and after few minutes of diagnostic and troubleshooting guided by the technical person.. hehehhehe... the password was wrong all this while!!!! i feel DUMB.

hair day

i am in a good mood today eventhough my head is burdened with issue and problems.

a friend told me how his hair could affect his day. his whole day routine. completely. i didn't quite give a damn about that. well i thought its only gals and their bad hair days.. well i felt so relieved today after having a haircut. After a disastrous so called transformation at a salon couple months ago, i've been keeping this dead-locks in a bun whole day, everyday.. until today. I did chop off about 4 inches today and surprised how free and easy i feel now..

thats how hair can give impact to your mood.

traumatic experience

The experience I am about to blog today is my worst experience i've ever encountered. I decided to blog it out rather than telling the whole story again and again for the nth times. Yes we are traumatized and hope you will take extra cautions whenever and wherever you are.

The incident happened last Tuesday (7th October 2008) at around 0820 at my very own resident in subang jaya.

To be exact i was still rolling in my blanket in my PJ smsing a friend feeling so lazy to hit the shower. Mom was at the kitchen and dad was outside about to go to work. I heard someone at the door knob trying to open my door. It is a routine that my mom usually wants to use my bathroom to shower. Without any suspects and doubt i approach the door and open. My vision was still blurry, i saw a figure of a guy i don't know infront of my door. In split seconds he turned his back and saw me. I quickly shut my door and locked it. He forced to open, I was breathing heavily. My mind couldn't focus and compute what's going on at that time. My hp was still in my grip. Things happened so fast and my door was kicked from outside and with 2 kicks it was opened. An indian guy (mid 20s, medium sized about 5'5" height) entered aggresively with a rambo knife pointed at me. With a lisp malay language he meant well to ask me not to move, and squad down. He took my hp from my hand. I don't remember anything but I was shaking and crying. i dared not look. I did not know what happened to mom and dad downstairs but i heard them uttering. I knew he was not alone. After a while mom went up to me and hugged me. Mom was trying to talk to him but i know at that time when they say something they mean well. He sweared to my mom. I heard the word p****mak strongly uttered to my mom. At that time he became more aggressive and start taking out his pistol. I didn't know he had a gun, it was hidden in his shirt. God knows how i felt at that time. I told my mom to obey before he decided to harm us. Another chinese guy entered my room with a gun and start digging and messing the room. After few minutes, they took out bunch of stuffs from my room and locked us in my bathroom. As it is an attached bathroom we managed to go out via other door after making sure they were not around. After a while, we came down and saw my dad unharmed (alhamdulillah).

He threatened my dad not to make a contact with the police for half an hour else there will be a 2nd trip. They took my dad's car and the house keys and go. Fortunately they didn't take my car. The car keys were just right on the sofa but as i'm only driving myVi, they only interested in my dad's brandnew camry. So i brought my parents straight to the police station and lodge a report.

According to my dad, he was in his car warming up the engine with the gate open before he was approached by a gang of 4 with guns and knives. He was helplessly asked to unlock my house. They talked nicely and slowly to my dad to make it less suspicious. My dad went back into my house with the gang before calling mom who was currently in the kitchen. The gang were smartly dressed that mom couldn't tell they were bad people before seeing pistols and knives pointed at my dad. One chinese guy stood by the main door, 2 other chinese guarding my parents while 1 indian went up to my room.

Wondering what are the total losts ?

My dad's Toyota Camry 2.4
Mom's jewelleries (the one she inherits from grandma). She's very sad about it.. and i feel so sorry for that.

My stuffs :

-macbook
-d80 + 85mm f1.8
-d300 + 17-55 f2.8
-sb800
-sb600
-my watches
-sony ericsson hp

I basically have nothing left as a photographer. All was stolen and the sad thing is i don't even have my stuffs insured. It seems like the whole office was robbed. I am now picking bits and pieces to start my life back.. i leave it all to the police to arrest the culprits. I hope they will enforce tighter rules and punishments and conduct regular patrols to guard the area.

But we are thankful that no life is harmed, yet we are still traumatized with the incident. We are currently not staying at the house for the time being untill we gain our confidence and feel safe again.

According to the police, car rob cases is quite common in my area, but encountering gangs with pistols is something quite new here. I am sad to say that people are becoming more daring these days. Robbing is becoming one of the way to survive as what the robber told my mom.. "makcik, kita juga mau carik makan.. kalau makcik duduk diam diam, keluarga makcik selamat.." while pointing a gun at my mom.

To friends and families, neighbors that i never bothered to say hi.. thank you for your support. Seeing news everyday makes me feel even unsafe. Crimes can happen anywhere, anytime during broad day light even a place you so called .. home sweet home..

the sinful image.

i decided to take a time off from my work and show off some skills. I'm kinda bored with the same old menus for berbuka. Chicken, beef.. nahh! Not today.. This special sambal from the inhouse chef (moi) definitely gonna be the main attack for break fast and sahur..

Wokay, enough bragging.. But I am hungry now :P

Selamat Berbuka Puasa!

updating life

Its been a while.. oh well its been ages since i put something here months ago. Well, am not hiding.. still around but a lil bit busy capturing life. I was travelling quite a bit.. tiring but enjoying every miles of it. Am losing weight (i hate it!!) due to my scope of work. Less sleep, social life, entertainment and love :( But lets make other people happy first, i know my time will come very soon. I am not complaining but i know GOD is fair. I feel blessed to being able to channel my creativity with the skills HE mould in me.. I may not be the best recipe.. but am improving my own mixture to become better and better..

I won't be updating here as frequent as before.. let say last time i did blog 2-3 times a day.. (used to) but now it may be 1 every 3 months?? Hmm..Time flies.. and i wonder where do the minute and hour go? Well, i guess it goes to here.

These are from a nice night out with some friends at the Sunrise Jazz & Rythm Fest tonight. Its been a while since the last time i went to any live performances.

..and my photo flew to jakarta!

I am not actually a big fan of financial report, stock market and banking magazines. But now, it can sit beside my favourite genre of magazines.. 'Preferred' the collaboration magazine of CIMB Malaysia and Bank Niaga Indonesia can now sit beside my Digital Camera magazines collection :)

3 of my gamelan collections were featured in a section of this premiere issue 2008. It was no big deal.. but the DHL package i received this morning made me smile..









The same photo also featured in a French magazine couple of months ago. Check this out :) I don't know what is so special about the photo :) but i'm blessed...

here's a link to my gamelan photo.