Thursday, March 29, 2007

Whacky Bunch of KL Flickrites

here fishy fishy!! damn i look horrible in this. who doesn't? it was funny, we had fun.. so what?? and asrul, don't mind me curi this photo to blog? you did a cool whacky job!

Monday, March 26, 2007

a tribute.. to furbol.

once upon a time about a year ago, Ms L found a kitten. She was lost and helpless. Ms L decided to bring her home and gave her food and shelter. Ms L is such a cat lover. I've never seen anyone except for (jamil-the cat lover) who loves cat more than she does (yeah, she used to have more than 10 cats some time ago). She named the kitten.. "furbol".

As time goes Ms L and furbol became good friends. She'll be there when Ms L comes home, she will accompany Ms L and went for a bus trip to Johor to Ms L's hometown. Don't ask how, but furbol was such a behaved feline. She will sit on Ms L's lap for a 5 hr journey without making a fuss. (and.. yeah she holds her pee and poop until they reach the destination).

After about a year, furbol gets bigger and realised that she somehow owns the freedom. So, the lil freedom she needs was actually permitted by Ms L. One day, Ms L went out with her fiance for dinner and came home a little late. She realised something happened to her beloved friend, furbol when she came back. There was blood on furbol's leg and she walks weirdly. Ms L gave me a call and asked me whether there's any vet that still opens at that hour. I called my niece who also owns a cat and according her, vets in Uptown closes a lil late. The chance was quite thin, we had a backup plan and one of furbol's regular doctor returned Ms L's call and generously willing to treat furbol's condition. Looks like furbol was hit by a car and it hit right on her pelvic area. The doctor said if furbol pees normally the next day she will be ok.

The doctor gave her painkillers and insisted furbol to be caged so she could rest. Being an active cat she hates to be locked in a room. Ms L thought within a couple of days furbol will be back running and jumping.

********************

After a few days, though Furbol's leg wasnt recovered completely, she was already up and about. But on the 8th night after the accident, furbol's gotten weak. She didn't want to eat and she lied down in the toilet on the wet floor. (thats kinda weird because cats normally love warmer area, as i always see them underneath cars). So, we detected that furbol was internally heated and she might be dehydrated. So, last night Ms L called me and she was at the same vet. Deep down inside i knew that furbol could not hold that long but i did not want to say that to Ms L. Ms L still had faith on furbol. When Ms L looked at her eyes, and furbol looked back at her without a focus on her eyes. She lost the eye focus, she was dreamy (maybe a part of her soul was already somewhere else). The doctor decided to bring furbol to his place and dripped her. It was midnight and Ms L went home with anxiety. She felt so lonely without furbol even for a short while. Ms L still did not think about losing furbol as her hope was too high for furbol's survival.

********************

Monday, 6.45am. My cellphone rang that woke me up from my dreamland. Ms L called me with tears. I knew something's not right somewhere even before i heard Ms L was sobbing. (she won't wake up this early. And if she does, she won't call me this early). In the wee hour of the morning about 4.40am, Ms L received an sms from the doctor... furbol didn't make it. I was speechless but tried to calm her down. Furbol's body will be collected from the vet today at 11am after the doctor cut her body to diagnose the cause. She broke down in tears and it was actually worse than when she broke up with one of her ex sometime ago. Furbol's always been the reason for Ms L to come home (as Ms L is not staying with her family here..).. and knowing there's no sweet furry reason anymore.. that just make her sad. I am sorry for the lost, sister. I hope furbol may rest in piece among the other charming cats on the other side of the world. And to Ms L, you've been a loving and a responsible guardian to this beloved lil furbol and you've done everything you could to save her..

A tribute to furbol..




Sunday, March 25, 2007

saturday madness.

I decided to do something fun yesterday. I thought i need to get a lil "exposure". So socializing that was. No, i didn't go clubbing. No i didn't shake my bootie on the podium. Nah.. nah i didn't attend any orgy party and get boozed.

This is more positive than that..and i had a great time! met bunch of new people that speaks the same language, share the same views but with each own's way and shooting someone's nostril is not a sin and kicking someone's butt is not asking for a punch back on a face!

here i was..

take it izzi, people!


tadaaa! we are the flickr cup cakes!

mr and ms crumpler

asrul was spreading the fisheye disease. toldcha about aiming kazz's nostrils!

anna, me and riz had a tounge disease.

the spring rolls were nice! but i thought buffet supposed to be "EAT ALL YOU CAN"

me and eka making nasty faces! but guess i was nastier and kinkier..

okay johan, i won't reveal who's butt was getting kicked!

magnus with his BIG evil laugh!!


someone thought marshmallow was a guy! but none of these guys are one! naah.. guys, good try.

you guys rawk! and kudos to group admins and those who made it a success! looking forward to the next one.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Don't leave me, saturday!

Saturday is supposed to be THE most awaited day (oh well for those who works 5 days a week!). And i have THE most solid reason to sleep in lil bit more. So its a payday for me (pay my lacked rest) I can say, i sleep only 3 hrs every night in average. And i know it is not healthy and i do feel the impact every now and then. And its not pretty to see eyebags and dark circles.. breakouts and stuffs due to lack of sleep. I have been procastinating my exercise these days. Every week i make a vow to do something during the weekend but yet when it comes to saturday, i will do the same thing and let the next saturday be the exercise day. It feels pretty to stay healthy. But it takes a lot of discipline and self awareness to do so. I love myself when i used to treat swimming as my routine workout every saturday. I hope i still remember how to float. ahaha..

It was 9.30 am, i was rolling myself in a blanket.. and let myself pampered and kill the guilt for a bit. But as the clock ticked to 10am i realized my body could not sleep any longer. It was bright and i shouldn't waste my time in bed all day. It'll make me sore and slows down my brain cells. So i decided to wake up and a serious house chores is just what needed. I remembered bringing home a pile of documentations from work last nite to be entertained. "Entertained"? ahahaha.. (trying to make it more interesting). But it should be done later.. I need to give a good impression to mom.. or atleast make her feel i'm here at home and ease her stress. Nothing much i could do but atleast make the house look pleasant and comfortable to be in. And mom didn't look quite healthy today. Maybe she feels far-hearted for me being home late every night. Maybe she feels that i don't spend much time with her these few days. Well, its not what i am happy to do. I do stay at home but as a matter of fact, being locked up in my room in front of my mac does not considered as staying at home to mom.

So it goes my saturday morning. A morning inwhich i'm supposed to relax has become a morning of chores. Well, i don't complain.. instead feels quite productive! I hope i'm not too tired to proceed with my work later. Ouh my body sores.. my neck and my back stiff again. I seriously need to get a new bed and a nice pillow... and a complete routine of calcium. I guess i should go out to groceries and stock my refrigerator with fresh milk. I think i should do it now. ( oh am i finding excuses to sneak out and forget about my works for a while???)

These are the painting i bought in bali. thought of hanging them as my center piece.. but until i get a new bed i'll just put em on the floor. Well, when it comes to art, there's no rule how and where you wanna put it.

hope your saturday is better than mine. cheerio people!

Thursday, March 08, 2007

if it makes you happy..


if it makes you happy.., originally uploaded by marshma11ow.

another "when emotion speaks" project. A self expression and mind blogging flavor of the week.

when you feel 247 is not enough..

so much things to do so lil time.. :( for the first time in many many rare ocassion i wished there's 10 days in a week! don't ask why but i have been penetrated with jobs, opportunities, commitments, attentions and people from 360. Sounds like a positive thing but that is super tiring when i am lacked of sleep and rest. And the worst part is i don't know how to manage that. Yeah, its true i should take one day at a time. But what if in ONE day you try so hard to do atleast one thing right but you end up doing nothing. So it does not make me a hero of the day.. instead zero accomplishment. And its best described in malay proverb.."Yang dikejar tak dapat yang dikendong tercicir plak tepi highway.." and that frustrates me anyway!

I need to work harder.. yeah i am positively sure i can do something out of my shutter clicking and earn some extra cash. I have received quite a number of requests for photography related stuffs. Its the matter of willing to take it or not. And that "willing" is very much depending on whether i have anough time to do it or not. All this while i have been turning off so much opportunities due to my current situation. Being tied up in some other commitment and you keep losing new things and opportunities. Quitting a job is not a wise solution. Unless i'm born in a tycoon family where i could open a business just to kill my time. ahahahha... but is that what i want to do? NO. even if i'm born as one!

My boss came to me and we had a conversation whether i am comfortable with the project. Maybe i am not being productive enough these days. YES. Not productive that is. I wished i could be the way i used to. Maybe i am just tired of proving and giving enough impressions. The unworthy feeling disturbed me and dragged it all down. The question now is whether i WANT to do it.. the boss is right somehow. I need to do something before my reputation 's scratched. Can't i be good at 2 things at a time? I am trying hard to juggle various things carefully to keep everything's on air. Work and career is something crucial in everyone's lfe especially when you are reaching this age. But another side that needs attention as much as you could ever balance. Personal, family and relationship.

Sometimes i am tired of becoming a subsets of everything that surrounds me. Can't i be 100% myself and worry not of other entities? But having not to disclose anything or everything and being careful enough with every single steps i take is so damn tiring. (don't understand? well don't have to. Boleh bikin pusing dong!). Well as long long as i know i'm not h y p o c r i t e, i can live with it.. People will keep talking and judging behind your back or right into your face, but i will just smile and whisper to myself.. "... i know what i'm doing.. and shut the kcuf up!" Listening to jazz is what i am doing now.. religiously! and that soothes my ear and calm my heartbit down.

I realized that when you want something so badly, you need to struggle shit your ass off of it. Things don't come easy. My blood, my sweat, my tears and my agony are for something thats worth striving for. I hope i don't fall and and bleed too much in chasing my dreams.