tribute to the stars and the sun.

i looked out the window and gazed upon the dark sky. The stars were countless last night.

i glanced to the window and watched the ray of light coming through the window. The sun feels warmer than any other morning..

To the stars and the sun, thanks for being there with me.

the moment i get hyperkinesia.

ok, i feel like jumping on a trampoline and scream my heart out and just being silly for a mo. I think my eyeballs just cramped due to sitting more than 10 hours staring at the screen. At this point of time, put a donkey with a shocking-pink lipgloss and a fuchsia wig, she still looks gorgeous to me. Alright, don''t you deserve a good rest on a lazy couch with a remote control on your hand and a bucket of ice cream on the other on sunday? Erkh, i don't remember the last time i had that kinda sunday. Image showing me getting hyperkinesia. lol.

I was supposed to shoot a friend for her sport portfolio today.. her in a tight cycling attire and on her expensive bike. I was supposed to shoot her long time back, indeed. Things get really messy on my schedule that i had to push it from time to time. I sold my 18-200VR some time back to get the 17-55 f2.8 nikkor before it was stolen end of last year. damn. I used that lens (18-200 to cover most of my casual sports event. Not good enough to freeze every drop of sweats, but a good focal range to cover athletes in action without having to get too close with the subject. I need to get one tele soon. 70-200VR f2.8 might be a bit over my budget for now but a shutterbug buddy recommended a nikkor 80-200f2.8 which is quite decent for its price. There goes another sinful item on my wish list. Shashinki is selling for RM3750. where can i get a 2nd hand? sigh.

i need to be on my imaginary trampoline now.

The day i become 31!

Thanks for making me feel so young and forget about my first digit. The cupcake isn't as sweet as the sweet gesture! thank you.

the beginning of a healthy life, no?

start a day in a healthy way. that's what the sayings say. Its my birthday and it feels good to start my 31 with a 3km muscle working.

so i did jogging today. A friend wants to see if i can run and says there's a potential in me regardless how hard i tried to convince everyone that i hate running. We went to a shoe shop to eye some running shoes few days back. (Sounds like a very serious runner, huh?) Just to check the type of feet i have and what type of shoes are suitable. The last running shoes i had was a bad reebok i bought during warehouse sale centuries ago that i had to curse every time after i used it. Not to mention blisters! The moment i entered the shop, the shop owner said i definitely have the potential to become a runner looking at my build. Ahh.. don't give a damn thing about it.. but.. really? He put me on one shoe and actually asked me to run and test the shoes outside the shop and i can even tour the shopping mall with it. I was like.. "what..?!! you gotta be kidding me!" and guess what? i did.. except for the run thingy. Managed to have one round of tour and enjoying the comfort of the soles.

Back to jogging. I was actually brisk walking.. and run for a bit.. on and off. I don't remember when was the last time time i had jogged. No idea. Altogether, managed to push my muscles to work for 3km. I don't dare to go further and push until i get a proper shoes. No, i haven't bought any shoes yet. No budget just yet. Borrowed sis' nike and i don't think it was even my size. Lebam. Plus, have to be careful with the knee injuries occured some time back. I definitely need more stamina, but how come swimming don't give thaaat sore. Maybe because i enjoy breast stroking more than thumping my feet.

My shins and thighs are soring! But atleast the muscle is working babeh!

ber'lumut.'

Camera. Mac. Camera. Mac. Camera. Mac. I was contemplating whether to bring my mac or my camera. After weighing my luggage, mood, energy and motivation, i decided to leave my camera behind. I feel so hesitated to follow my parents to Lumut. I don't actually fancy going to weddings, but since its just a short duration i guess why not??! Atleast i can go dipping at the hotel pool. Its not that far anyway... I slept the whole 3 hr journey. The moment i open my eyes.. here i am.. Orient Star, Lumut.

Well, going for a vacation or short getaway with parents at this age is not like 10-15 years ago. I left my parents in the room most of the time. Tried to occupy myself with all the facilities here. I just had a good swim at the hotel pool for an hour. Not much people as its not school holiday or weekend. It was a very relaxing and rejuvenating moment.

Well, i still have my camera phone to capture some scene here.. Not as good as i expected but good enough!

Damn! i left my heels at home! Is it a weird scene to see a girl attending a wedding ceremony in nice kebaya with a selipar jepun???

There is mosquitos all over!! I'm like donating my blood now.. Signing off for now people!

bummer morning.

Bummer. Bummer. Bummer. I made a payment to Vonza (where i ordered my bed set) by cheque about few days ago. When i checked my account 2 days ago, looks like they already cleared it and has been deducted from my account. I exhaled a sigh of relief well, atleast i didn't owe anyone right now. I'm not gonna sleep on an unpaid bed! Its like having bad debt dreams all night.

Yesterday, when i went out shopping with a friend for a bedding sheets and a quilt i hit the ATM with surprise because of the existence sum weird amount of money in my account. "Aku ada sugar daddy ke?" Yay! it must be some client's deposit. Then i withdrew 'em and shopped what i had to shop. I did burst a bit out of my budget.

Last night i slept on a new sheet. The sheets and quilt couldn't wait. The egyptian cotton felt so good on my skin. haha! I remember having a sweet dream last night until a loud jazzy ring burst out my bubble of dreams. The hp was just an inch away from my ears. The bank called mentioning i overdrawn my money. The floating cheque (vonza) which is supposed to clear today was in insufficient fund. Damn! I thought it cleared 2 days ago. They insisted me to top up before 9am! and it was already 8.30 and i'm still in my pyjamas wrapping my body in that soft, cozy warm sheet i bought yesterday using' supposed to be Vonza's money'. bummer.

Moral of the story.. if you find a fat sum amount of figure in your account like out of nowhere, DON'T USE IT.. just yet!

new look.

i have spent ridiculously a lot for my bedroom. New bed, new mattress.. queen out you go. here comes the king, new dressing table, new bed side table and a new wallpaper!! Don't ask me why but no, i'm not getting married in anytime soon. Its merely for self satisfation. My body needs a lil pamper after a hard work and effort. Its all about me. seriously. Choosing the right color is not ea-zay. Then i decided to have combo of mocha+oatmeal+milk color. sounds yummy?! pics on my fesbuk.

New Year Musings.

Damn. Its already 15th jan 2009 and I only managed to blog about resolutions. I never failed to make a list of achievements and goals when its nearly new year be it on paper or just for my personal acknowledgements. 2008 marked lots of milestones in my life. Good, bad, tears, laughter, make ups, breakups, hickups list goes on. Met interesting people and also people i'm not supposed to meet. Met people whom made me laugh and also made me cry. Thats just how world moves. Sometimes you are on top, the next minute you are at the bottom. We are not perfect and thats why we are humans not GOD. The highlight of 2008 was when i was gang robbed. Well i don't want to start on that. I don't have a list for 2009 like i used to in 2007. I have achieved a lot of things and not forgetting enduring the pain of falling. You become stronger each time you stand up and walk again picking up bits and pieces after a great fall.

Here I am.. still picking up bits and pieces developing a stronger version of me. I hope 2009 treats me good.

- No more stupid investment plan.
- No more crying game.

By he way, hope its still not too late to wish y'all a very happy 2009!

when pointing a middle finger is forgiven..

What happened today made me raise my middle finger to everyone the whole day not in a vulgar way. It was supposed to be a good arty farty day. From a photo exhibition at klpac to the Youth'09 event at PWTC. But in between events i was doomed with erm.. finger accident. My middle finger was stucked in between my carboot! Damn! what a lame accident to shout. Well, i wasn't being a cry baby but seriously I thought i lost my middle finger big time. F&#@k! It was not supposed to happen. When i say stucked. It really did stuck big time that the 3rd attempt was still a failure of getting my finger out of it. I pulled it out once harder the 4th time and i didn't feel my hand. The whole hand was numb before blood oozing out from my finger. I was panicked. Fortunately a friend came and brought me to the clinic as i couldn't afford to drive. I hoped the doctor didn't pull out my nails.

Now the tip of my middle finger looks bigger and fatter! I still don't feel my finger when i tap on my middle finger. Guess what?? I can't even right-click the mouse!!!!!!

pic courtesy of a gentleman who drove me to the clinic.

lil business in the dark.

Damn! It must the food i had or the two glasses of teh tarik i had with a good friend just now at kopitiam. I wished i had the loo attached on my neck now that i don't have to walk to the toilet every 10 minutes! And double bummer the bulb in my toilet blew today that i had to pee and settle my unfinished business in the dark. Don't imagine.

I need some charcoal tablet now!

seriously.

sore day.

i had a 10hr photoshoot yesterday. and oh did i mention solo photoshoot? after it ended at 12 midnight last night i told myself that i'm gonna sleep in the next day. And probably a body massage later in the afternoon. (oh i'm so needing it now!). Got home around 1am and i made a practice no matter how tired i can be, i will still have to transfer my photos first before i crash to bed. Ok, it took about an hr for me to freshen up after a whole day of sweat from the photoshoot and to allow 10GB of data to complete. (that's why i hate shooting RAW, but it saves my ass so many times!!!). 2am yay! finally i set myself free from work and sleep. Told myself..."don't wake up till noon! the body needs it!".

zzZZzzzz..
ZZzzzzZZZ..

the next day:

7am i was already wide awake. The body hesitated to rise but my brain forced my eyes wide open and i couldn't sleep no more. That is me. Its 9am, everyone except mom is still rolling in their warm blanket enjoying their sunday but here i am writing a blog and rambling about "how tired i am yet body refused to rest", before i launch my adobe bridge and photoshop CS3 and resume my routine. Am i a geek? or shall i say a cool arty geek? hehheheh.

mom's curry smells good from the kitchen.

have a good sunday, peeps!!!

back in action.

Ok, where do i begin. I guess i just don't know how to blog about personal life anymore. Everything is just about work. After the robbery, I had not been shooting that much. Being cameraless was such a pain! I really hoped i didn't lost my eye for photography.

Got myself new gears and forked out my savings to start all over and pick bits and pieces along the way. One thing i bear in mind, things happen for a reason. Maybe thats a payback for things i did wrong in the past. Well, enough said.

My trip to singapore was an enjoying one. A bit tired as it wasn't totally leisure trip as i was on wedding assignment but it felt good to finally be in singapore again after ages!

Here's some shots from the session.

my DUMB day.

darn! my $200 flew outa my pocket today for something very unnecessary. I've been trying to login to my streamyx account for few months and it failed me every time. I thought it was my router faulty since the adsl light wasn't blinking. I did some tests and diagnose (a skill that i don't have anymore - troubleshooting) but it still fails me. Then i decided to get a new router because the line i used to curi (from one of my generous neighbors which has no WEP) was no longer detectable.. ahh.

I got myself a nice sleek solid black linksys cisco router with built-in antenna. Since i'm not that techy anymore, i did a shortcut by asking the salesman to install the setting to my router (so i can just plug and play when i reach home) gosh, i'm a big fan of 'plug and play'.. then i took it back home and hope high as mountain and EXTRA confident i could see the google logo when i click on my mozilla browser. Bummer!!!!! same problem showed up...

I called streamyx call center and after few minutes of diagnostic and troubleshooting guided by the technical person.. hehehhehe... the password was wrong all this while!!!! i feel DUMB.

hair day

i am in a good mood today eventhough my head is burdened with issue and problems.

a friend told me how his hair could affect his day. his whole day routine. completely. i didn't quite give a damn about that. well i thought its only gals and their bad hair days.. well i felt so relieved today after having a haircut. After a disastrous so called transformation at a salon couple months ago, i've been keeping this dead-locks in a bun whole day, everyday.. until today. I did chop off about 4 inches today and surprised how free and easy i feel now..

thats how hair can give impact to your mood.

traumatic experience

The experience I am about to blog today is my worst experience i've ever encountered. I decided to blog it out rather than telling the whole story again and again for the nth times. Yes we are traumatized and hope you will take extra cautions whenever and wherever you are.

The incident happened last Tuesday (7th October 2008) at around 0820 at my very own resident in subang jaya.

To be exact i was still rolling in my blanket in my PJ smsing a friend feeling so lazy to hit the shower. Mom was at the kitchen and dad was outside about to go to work. I heard someone at the door knob trying to open my door. It is a routine that my mom usually wants to use my bathroom to shower. Without any suspects and doubt i approach the door and open. My vision was still blurry, i saw a figure of a guy i don't know infront of my door. In split seconds he turned his back and saw me. I quickly shut my door and locked it. He forced to open, I was breathing heavily. My mind couldn't focus and compute what's going on at that time. My hp was still in my grip. Things happened so fast and my door was kicked from outside and with 2 kicks it was opened. An indian guy (mid 20s, medium sized about 5'5" height) entered aggresively with a rambo knife pointed at me. With a lisp malay language he meant well to ask me not to move, and squad down. He took my hp from my hand. I don't remember anything but I was shaking and crying. i dared not look. I did not know what happened to mom and dad downstairs but i heard them uttering. I knew he was not alone. After a while mom went up to me and hugged me. Mom was trying to talk to him but i know at that time when they say something they mean well. He sweared to my mom. I heard the word p****mak strongly uttered to my mom. At that time he became more aggressive and start taking out his pistol. I didn't know he had a gun, it was hidden in his shirt. God knows how i felt at that time. I told my mom to obey before he decided to harm us. Another chinese guy entered my room with a gun and start digging and messing the room. After few minutes, they took out bunch of stuffs from my room and locked us in my bathroom. As it is an attached bathroom we managed to go out via other door after making sure they were not around. After a while, we came down and saw my dad unharmed (alhamdulillah).

He threatened my dad not to make a contact with the police for half an hour else there will be a 2nd trip. They took my dad's car and the house keys and go. Fortunately they didn't take my car. The car keys were just right on the sofa but as i'm only driving myVi, they only interested in my dad's brandnew camry. So i brought my parents straight to the police station and lodge a report.

According to my dad, he was in his car warming up the engine with the gate open before he was approached by a gang of 4 with guns and knives. He was helplessly asked to unlock my house. They talked nicely and slowly to my dad to make it less suspicious. My dad went back into my house with the gang before calling mom who was currently in the kitchen. The gang were smartly dressed that mom couldn't tell they were bad people before seeing pistols and knives pointed at my dad. One chinese guy stood by the main door, 2 other chinese guarding my parents while 1 indian went up to my room.

Wondering what are the total losts ?

My dad's Toyota Camry 2.4
Mom's jewelleries (the one she inherits from grandma). She's very sad about it.. and i feel so sorry for that.

My stuffs :

-macbook
-d80 + 85mm f1.8
-d300 + 17-55 f2.8
-sb800
-sb600
-my watches
-sony ericsson hp

I basically have nothing left as a photographer. All was stolen and the sad thing is i don't even have my stuffs insured. It seems like the whole office was robbed. I am now picking bits and pieces to start my life back.. i leave it all to the police to arrest the culprits. I hope they will enforce tighter rules and punishments and conduct regular patrols to guard the area.

But we are thankful that no life is harmed, yet we are still traumatized with the incident. We are currently not staying at the house for the time being untill we gain our confidence and feel safe again.

According to the police, car rob cases is quite common in my area, but encountering gangs with pistols is something quite new here. I am sad to say that people are becoming more daring these days. Robbing is becoming one of the way to survive as what the robber told my mom.. "makcik, kita juga mau carik makan.. kalau makcik duduk diam diam, keluarga makcik selamat.." while pointing a gun at my mom.

To friends and families, neighbors that i never bothered to say hi.. thank you for your support. Seeing news everyday makes me feel even unsafe. Crimes can happen anywhere, anytime during broad day light even a place you so called .. home sweet home..

the sinful image.

i decided to take a time off from my work and show off some skills. I'm kinda bored with the same old menus for berbuka. Chicken, beef.. nahh! Not today.. This special sambal from the inhouse chef (moi) definitely gonna be the main attack for break fast and sahur..

Wokay, enough bragging.. But I am hungry now :P

Selamat Berbuka Puasa!

updating life

Its been a while.. oh well its been ages since i put something here months ago. Well, am not hiding.. still around but a lil bit busy capturing life. I was travelling quite a bit.. tiring but enjoying every miles of it. Am losing weight (i hate it!!) due to my scope of work. Less sleep, social life, entertainment and love :( But lets make other people happy first, i know my time will come very soon. I am not complaining but i know GOD is fair. I feel blessed to being able to channel my creativity with the skills HE mould in me.. I may not be the best recipe.. but am improving my own mixture to become better and better..

I won't be updating here as frequent as before.. let say last time i did blog 2-3 times a day.. (used to) but now it may be 1 every 3 months?? Hmm..Time flies.. and i wonder where do the minute and hour go? Well, i guess it goes to here.

These are from a nice night out with some friends at the Sunrise Jazz & Rythm Fest tonight. Its been a while since the last time i went to any live performances.

..and my photo flew to jakarta!

I am not actually a big fan of financial report, stock market and banking magazines. But now, it can sit beside my favourite genre of magazines.. 'Preferred' the collaboration magazine of CIMB Malaysia and Bank Niaga Indonesia can now sit beside my Digital Camera magazines collection :)

3 of my gamelan collections were featured in a section of this premiere issue 2008. It was no big deal.. but the DHL package i received this morning made me smile..









The same photo also featured in a French magazine couple of months ago. Check this out :) I don't know what is so special about the photo :) but i'm blessed...

here's a link to my gamelan photo.

what the........?

i was doing my late night assignment. Nothing interesting on tv. Mom was watching drama after another. I just need the sound of tv to keep me awake. Its 12 midnight, I was too lazy to go upstairs to switch chanels on astro. So there i was on 9tv watching the horniest lame classical movie.

I am a HUGE fan of P Ramlee's movie. But this movie drove me nutsss!!! This is the worst P Ramlee's movie I've ever watched. Sorry Tan Sri, I can totally accept your jokes in your comedy... but this is definitely a NO-GO. Sarimah were made to look kinky and horny in an innocent way. Tell me which malay movies show ladies in just panty and bra or sheer nighties walking in a room with horny dialogues?

It was all Dr Rusdi's fault that made me watch till the end.. say, no kudos for Dr Rusdi but thanks for making me stay awake!! lol.

i need a dose of...

ooh.. its been ages and ages since i posted any good mind stimulating blog. Yes, my previous post navigate you to my new blog so called blog.fatiniz.com. But i guess its mainly for business and show offs. hehhehhe... I can't be writing about who i hooked and make out with last night at the.. erm.. shall i disclose it here? hmm...

Life has been pretty hectic. I have basically no entertainment as i normally work my ass off during the weekends. And I do go out for movies if i don't have any jobs on weekends. I have less friends now.. i guess everyone seems to be complaining about it.. especially the single ones like me. My good, better, best, bestest friends are all married, with kids or atleast pregnant!

So i guess its time for us singles to flirt. ahahah... its been ages since i've been actively flirting. Did I? oh well.. so i guess its not wrong to flirt rather than concentrating too much on work and relationship matters.. sometimes. No?