Monday, August 21, 2006

A leap ahead.

"it feels like a drop of dew on a young green leaf"
(Exif : 1/160-f3.5-S priority-35mm macro lense-spot metering-iso400)

My life involves a lot of decision makings lately. No this is not another love episode of blogging. But an episode that might involve a career change or additional to my career milestone. It feels so good when everything is going your way, It feels damn great to work on something you'd love to do. The satisfaction you gained is paid of after each sweat and effort you put on. Guess i have to roll up my sleeve higher now. Life is beautiful only if you perceive it that way. Opportunity is everywhere if you run for it and grab 'em. I don't care what talk other people might give. This negative perceptions can kill the motivations. Its like shooting a baby bird that just learned how to spread its wings and fly. How cruel is that? Its the reality of life. These people have nothing better things to say or do than seeing you fall and start scrutinizing your life. Human nature. I don't blame them anyway. I did that sometimes. Not anymore, but used to. No one is perfect. But now its time to shut my ears and pay attention on what my heart says. I don't give a shit anymore.

2006 brings a lot of change to my life. I start to ask myself. What drives me? I'm no longer a chick who carries cosmetic and clothes paperbags and shop for shoes and clothes everymonth. (It's not that i don't care about how i look now.. deep down inside i still love to groom..) but there are other things that deserve more attention. When age is adden up each year, that means more commitments, responsibility and sacrifices you have to consider.

Yes, I have started something now. And at the same time I still work at the same company. Life is tough, I never say it was a piece of cake. To get things started i have to consider and bump into so many hurdles and obstacles. Family, friends and major limitation - money! My family thought i have such an expensive hobby and think I'm just wasting my money all this while. But its not that i dumped the money into the drain. I have plans and dreams that can't stop thinking of; the moment i wake up every morning.. till the time shut my lids during bedtime. It doesn't do me any good until i give it a go. So, one day the small voice in my heart started to scream and other stopping factors started to dim. Who says i was brave enough? I am not a daredevil.. I have to admit I was scared to shit and I was weak but these mix feelings feel so great. It burns my spirit. I'm not comparing myself with others and i have no intention to challenge and compete with anyone, but the only person i dare is myself.

This undivided attention takes away the leisure time i used to enjoy. I have not been lazying around being a ms.couch-potato for a long time. (Erm, atleast I know Siti's getting married today but I don't give a damn how many horses will be escorting her. LOL.) Friends, friends and friends.. I don't have many close friends but i have quite a number that i can call buddies. To my close friends, you know who you are.. I'd like to apologize to you guys if you think i'm neglecting all of you. Deep in my heart, I'm not and you are still the pillars that hold me up still.

My left hand is being very itchy this month. Money flows like water. August is the month spending. Some called me a spendthrift but these are the things that was on my 2006 wishlist. I did not put high expectation on accomplishing all at one go. But Alhamdulillah things are going pretty good. If you wonder whats this time.. I'm partially MAC and partially PC now. My sis got her Vios last saturday and I got my dream Mac.. I know its not a fair comparison. But the price of these hobbies can be traded with a down payment of a car. (thats what my sis always say. Ahahahha) Well, human are just different with preferences and characteristics. Surprisingly, I don't have even a pinch of envy towards her. Next budget Insyaallah will be a wheel. GOD knows when!??? Ayoyo.. Datuk K, why don't you pick me?? ahahahah...

What else to blog.. I have thousands in mind. This happens when you keep everything into a small can. What do you get? a rojak of stories in one blog. By the way, besides goal, dreams and career.. I am now partially metaled. Heheheh.. hell no i have not affiliated myself to any black metal associations (NEVER will).. I am now the lady in an iron teeth. (another item in my wishlist.) I hate to look myself at the mirror now and i hate to smile as the first thing you will see is this bracket of metals covering my smile. I keep telling myself that this is not permanent.. only 2 years of suffer of being another Malaysian Top Nerdy and the suffer of controlling my lusty appetite to eat. Diets changed, eating habits changed and other limitations that involved mouth. What can it possibly be? (ahahha..don't even think about it!)

Oh.. it feels good to blog again. I'm running for lunch now. Will be back with my 2nd assignment posting.. Sekapur Sirih, Sekacip Pinang with Linda and Johan soon.. stay tuned..


Izhal said...

thats a nice shot...

did you know that there is bad and good bokeh??? this shot has the good bokeh... beware of th bad bokeh...

ps-aging, birthdays, responsibilities etc... i just call it another round around the sun ;)

bola2api said...

dah dpt dah MAC kau?? ini bukan lipstick MAC kan?? u finally bought the Mac book or whatchacallit ?? hurray! buleh tumpang tgk nanti :B (me grinning with my teeth visible)

kau sihat? aku sihat..

cantik gambo. durian tak runtuh lagi.. kalo dah runtuh, buleh le aku angkat lens seketul.

marshmallow said...

izhal : thanx izhal!! more macro to come!

bola2api : hooray!!!! finally.. mac lipstick vs mac book! ahahaha.a totally 2 different thing! i was not feeling well.. take care of your health.. dtg keje cepat2 kita gegarkan IT department cam biasa.