Tough decision. Yes. Again.

Life is full with decisions. I was struck with something that needs me to put on my thinking cap. And it better be the wise one. Sometimes letting go is the best solution in order to give way for a better one to come. It may not be the best but atleast it is better that being in regret for the things I didn't do. And this particular decision i made yesterday is one of the many tough decisions i had to make this year. I am sad but yet looking forward to see whats next. Better ? I hope.

ramadhan itu indah.

r a m a d h a n tahun ni membawa seribu erti dalam hidup aku. Tapi aku percaya setiap keburukan itu ada kecantikan. Ia menjadikan aku lebih tabah, matang dan kuat untuk mengharungi segala keperitan hidup.

i see red, yellow green.

snapshot of mom's sepit udang. Stayed home the whole day, and watching mom's plants grow is a food for the soul. (and of course since i'm fasting again today) But don't ask me to plant flowers because i just don't have the "hand of the gardener". I hate to encounter the uninvited creatures when i start messing with soil. So, mom's the best person to do it.

Snapshot was captured wih macro lense using spot metering. I couldn't remember the exif..

The Bitter Truth.

What if out of your jolly mood, you accidentally came across a shocking news that could make you grasp for breath. Something that chocked your throat that makes you really angry, mad and want to go berserk! On the other side, you can't react on your beserkness due to external parties that related to the matter. And again you have to put on your happy mask (amir, i pinjam your happy mask for a mo; hope you don't mind) to protect the feelings of your loved ones, or your career or your future. The next day, when you face the person who cheated or hiding that bitter truth on you, you have to act like nothing happens to preserve the harmonious environment, again to protect the one you love. And this voice only screams in my heart and no one could listen to it no matter how hard i scream. Sometimes, confrontation is not the best solution. But does keeping things to yourself is good anyway? I hate to keep this vengeance. The grudges that lead to a great hatred. And this hatred could change myself into a very defensive person. I'm beginning to have this thick wall around myself and trust is the longest journey to reach from this great wall of myself.

... What would I do?? what would I DO???

The hectic week.

Finally! Finally! I finished my 1 week training. It is tiring to commute with that heavy big file everyday to KL. Don't mind about the physical tiresome.. but reading, attending lectures are mentally tiresome for someone who left uni life for years. Tuning back to student life is not that easy. Another 4 modules make me a certified SAP BWer. Ahahah.. dream high... where do i get another 25k?? Don't expect the co will pay for my other 4 modules.

I feel so good its finally friday.. its time to plan whats for the weekend. But i might have an assignemnt tomorrow.. will see. Or i might end up resting my back at home the whole day. Ahh... its a week before ramadhan comes and come to think of it.. i have another 4 days to pay my puasa back. Ya Allah, apa nak jadi ngan aku ni? So, i guess it left me with another fasting day tomorrow. And it gives me a strong reason to stay home. Mind and body need rest. So does my digestion system. Lets count the sheep now.. 1001.. 1002.. 1003... 100zzzzz....

a night of victory!!

I was tired, drained out, having backache and have not bowled for too long. I couldn't remember when was the last time i had my middle finger into that tight hole. (ahahah.. long enough). But sometimes its all about luck. I didn't go home empty handed. 2nd runner-up? Not bad for someonewho can't even balance herself on a bicycle.. i'm gonna have to give extra kudos to myself!! sorry, i feel like showing off this trophy. yippie!!! huarghh..this match stick can't bear this heavy eye-lids anymore.. i'm gonna head to bed with my trophy now.. nite nite people... :)

before i hit the sack.

I had a training somewhere in KL today. And it goes on till friday. Have to admit it was a drained-brain session as i tried so hard to catch my trainers accent. He's an Indian bloke from India. Nice guy. Good presenter. And not forgetting with a bunch of Arabian trainees that sum up the class to approximately 12 people. But it feels like a 30-student class! The accent is one thing and there's something about them that i couldn't tolerate. Maybe the way they speak is too loud. I'm not too fancy with loud-speakers. Anyway, it was no biggy to me. Atleast they managed to wake me up a couple times from being stranded in my own dream. But now.. at this very moment.. the moment i'm typing this blog, i caught myself stumbled a few times from this great lethargy. Maybe i'm just too tired. Maybe i need to sleep now... zzzZZZzzZZZZz

A dedication to a friend

Life is full with unexpected things. I always hated surprises. I was not a risk-taker. Not a big fan of it. To agree or not, life is about risks. And experience has taught me why we need to play with risks. And life has taught me that we can't run away from doing things we hated to do. And it also taught me that not everything in this world would come my way. Don't expect an icing on a cake most of the time. Don't expect people will nod at your arguments most of the time, don't expect the sky to be bright and blue everyday.

Friend, i'm not here to tell you whether what you do is right or wrong. Neither am here to say why you should do this to that.. I make mistakes myself.. but don't let insanity takes control. Thats foolish. Friend.. it's ok to make mistakes. Sometimes mistakes are destined to be made. And as for human whose always on denial, have to remind ourselves that shit happens for a reason. Today you or me might cry, but who knows we will smile tomorrow.

Friend, if it happens to be a mistake.. IT'S OKAY. Give yourself a credit, be proud of yourself for the courage you put. Sorry if i was not being of help enough. I am not that strong myself now.


-THE END-



currently listening to : "yesterday" - the beatles
current mood : mellow

Linda & Johan Reception

Linda & Johan Reception

[click on thumbnail]

island fever

Malas nak update blog.. went through old photos.
Found this.. a shot i took in Perhentian Kecil a year ago (or maybe 2 years ago).
Sent it to Persetankan for its latest topic "bebas".
I don't know whether it fits the topic..

ouh, this makes my feet itchy to feel the sand and run barefooted under the sunny sky.
Lisa, packup your stuffs and we're leaving....