journey to unknown.

I look straight. I don't see the end.
Everything seems vague.
Is this a dream? or is this for real?

Dark.

I rub my eyes with hopes.
It's still dark.

I asked myself..
Shall I step forward?
..or step back?

my blood and sweat.

I have been complaining about how i wished i had more than 24 hours in aday, more than 7 days a week but getting my paycheque sooner... or more frequent! haha. I never knew camera is going play a major role in my life. I don't think i can live without my camera.. and my mac. Call me a geek! (i'm beginning to feel like one). Bola@api called me Budak Mac (with a "mek" klate pronunciation.. baaahhhh)

I've been working my ass off for 2 weeks to complete my very own portfolio. Well, its more on self-satisfaction sake. 2 years of involving myself, my blood and sweat, time consumed under sun and rain, make crappy shots but sometimes became an all-time-fave piece kinda shot, being critiqued especially by my sister on how bad and suck my photos turned, getting to know the alien jargons like WB, AF-S,AF-C,ISO and list goes on.. now, i'm compiling everything into a compact 20-page portfolio.

I was trying to create something that really portrays me. A simple white color book that does not really picturise me as a photographer.. but an art book that shows a journey of a lady in pursuing her dreams.. and to conclude it short; my photography assignments i have done within 2 years. I hate to admit one.. i'd rather say an avid who loves capturing moments. does it sound redundant? yeah, because i am redundantly in love with it.

Digging old stuffs and choose to compile into a 20-page book ain't easy. It took me almost a week! hence the feeling of putting more good photos (which some i do post here and here) into 1 page have to be put a side. Minimal is always good . Less is more. So don't be greedy.

But the overall feeling is good. I feel so rewarded. I am quite satisfied with the outcome (well atleast for my very first publication). Of course there's some flaws here and there..but as my friend always say, its the tradition of one's very first publication.. there is going to be tiny mistakes that will haunt you each time you flipped it. I was there almost all the time during the process of compilation. Until i realised one page was actually switched! It was a minor defect anyway (and i guess, only truly perfectionist would notice it).. i can see the guilt on 'compiler-guy's face when i pointed out THE mistake. Well, since its a very unnoticeable mistake, its not quite fair for him to redo it. So some things i gotta tolerate and just close-one-eye. Hmm.. in life we gotta tone down everything.. being too perfectionist is not good for people around you. My friends told me how picky i am.. especially in relationships. Okkkay.. lets not talk about relationship now. But come to think of it..am i thaaat picky??

Anyways, i would like to thank those dear friends around me who made "A taste of Marshmallow" which also conclude my life in the making a success. I may sound boastful but this is MY blog and i'm free to feel good atleast for the effort i've made. Feel free to leave the site if you can't take the amount of my boastfulness in this entry. hehe.. But somehow this is just 15% of the whole personal project i am working on. With motivation, guts, 200% more effort, bigger clock perhaps, sacrificing those beauty treatments, willingly to torture my spine.. i still have to pursue the remaining portion. I don't care if its gonna turn out a failure but the journey does really counts. The people i came across make me realised who true friends are and goooood things won't come easy. To you-know-who-you-are(s).. thank you.

to some who wonder, i will try to post a bit of a preview in my next bloggy.

#5|E|X|P|L|O|R|E

it was ranked #5 on explore! somehow the mystery works best..

my life in the making.

hello friends.. i'm back in kl. and maybe i won't be blogging that much these days.. I am currently concentrating on my personal project called "metamorphosis". I've been sketching up ideas and collaborating resources to be put into a portfolio. I won't say much because action does screams louder than a cheap talk. I will try to nail the milestone periodically. i hope the experimental works. well we wouldn't know unless we make an effort to try. so, wish me luck!

in the making..

kampungku.

Life has not been so good as expected.. well, nothing is certain anyways. and i did have a hunch that something will not go on my way. but i was calm, so calm that i started to worry on how calm i deal on things. but why should i panic? well, i guess i should panic a lil bit. and that makes me technically jobless now..

yes, i am technically unemployed. i guess its time to move and expand my capabilities.. maybe something i never thought i am capable of.

* * * * *

on the contrary, i am sort of enjoying my time here in pantai timur. tried not to think about whats happening in kl and whats going to happen when i come back to the hustle bustle town of kl.

etok, nasi kerabu, ayam bakar and green flags with white circles are everywhere. ouh, its been years since i last step to this serene hometown. the smell is still the same, kampung children cycling along the narrow path that only allows only 1 car at one time.. ayam, itik running around blindly as our car enters the pathway. i can still visualize and hear kids giggling and running on the stairs we used to play masak-masak with cousins. The sawah bendang is not as green as before.. but still green enough compared to grasses at the playground near my house in kl. i wonder whether there is still fish like we used to catch when we were running in skirts barefooted years ago.



so, kampung is basically... fun! i had a good feast.. the fruits are sweeter, fresher.. and the meat is tenderer.. and juicier.. the people is friendlier.. am i over exagerating it? No.

* * * * *

now, i have food to take care of. see you in kl!

FYI

balik kampungggg!!!!!!

"..she's pweeety.."

"..she's pweeety..", originally uploaded by marshma11ow.

i wonder what's popping in her mind..
she was looking at the bride in awe without a blink.

maybe.. "when i grow up.. i want to be as pweeety as the princess.."